shut

eight

hyunjin

'useless fucking waste of money'

'my life would be so much easier if you were never alive'

'because of you my family left me, the love of my life threw me away and all i get in return is an ugly brat like you'

the digital clock next to my bed was the only source of light in my dark room
it was currently 2am in the morning and i was wide awake lying on my bed sobbing
awaken by my own traumatising dream

sure i ran away from my mom the moment i could but the things she did to me
all that shit that i had to go through
i could never forget it
and nights like this make me despise her even more
i was reminded of the things she used to say to me

i dreamt of how she would beat me up and because she was an alpha she was much stronger than i am

i obviously couldn't fight back or stand up for myself

i would honestly give my soul away not to feel any of this
always looking for a way to escape
and i did find one

i headed to my bathroom and pulled out a razor from the cabinet under the sink
and there i sat in the early morning of a school day crying my eyes out
slicing over and over again
because nothing seem to be enough

as much as a hurt myself like this nothing ever changed
but i did it anyway
and right now it was the only feeling that i longed even though it hurt so bad

looking down at my wrists and arms i started to hiccup
and when i thought the damage i had done was enough
i ran my arms under the running water until i deemed the cuts were good enough to be wrapped in a thin bandage (so no one would suspect anything)

not like they care anyway

i was sure i couldn't fall back asleep so i put on a long sleeved black shirt and jeans, picked up my bag and figured i would walk around awhile before i made my way to school

not forgetting to inject the suppressants that blocked me from getting my heat and from anyone smelling my real scent

honey

seungmin

somethings wrong

waking up in the middle of the night was something i hated the most
i just could never seem to go back to sleep

worst part is that i cant even figure out why i woke up

something in me just tells me i need to fix or help something or someone
the strange feeling doesn't seem to go away and my wolf inside me wouldn't stop pestering me either

i groaned and decided fuck it it's 3 am im gonna go for a jog to keep my mind off this thing

i'll just shower in school or something whatever

and so i threw on some running clothes picked up my bag and was out the door

i dont know what it is but running always seem to help when i have problems
guess it's my way of dealing with stress

i looked at my down at my phone for a split second to check the time

"ow man the fuck? you have two eyes and for what if you're gonna literally bump into people like you're blind"