The Art Of Hating

Chapter Fifteen

XV. Confusing

Shit. Shit. This is fucking good.

If he'll ask me again to kiss on my sober state, I think I'll still agree. Hindi na ito dahil lang nakainom kami pareho. I never felt so woman before when kissing Cameron. It felt like I was obligated to do it because I was his girlfriend. I didn't even remember if he's that good. We never kissed like this.

Cameron don't fucking kiss like this.

Cameron. . .

Para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang mapagtanto iyon. Bigla kong naitulak si Alexander na marahan lang na tumigil pero hindi naman umalis sa puwesto.

"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously worried.

Hindi na ako makatingin sa kanya habang umaalis sa pagkakasandal at lumalayo sa kanya sa abot ng makakaya ko.

"I--I have to go b-back," I stuttered and I can't even look at him in the eyes.

"Why?"

"I----I'm not f-feeling well. . ." what a lame, excuse. Shit. It was obvious that I really want to get away.

Natahimik siya ng ilang saglit pero pagkaraan ay hinawakan ako sa siko. Napaigtag ako dahil doon.

"Alright. Ihahatid na kita sa Villa niyo."

"No!" nanlalaki ang mga mata ko habang umiiwas sa pagkakahawak niya. Nakita ko ang sobrang pagtataka at kaonting inis sa ekspresyon niya kaya inayos ko ang sarili ko. "I--I mean, sasabay ako kayna Bria. I think, they're still in the party."

Shit. I think I just insulted him. I acted as if he forced me when I was the one who was being touchy. I felt like a bitch for acting like that.

I feel bad and at the same time out of control on the situation.

It's just that. . . bakit ko pa pinahantong sa gano'n? Bakit ako nagpadala? That was really reckless!

Why did I let him kiss me?

Well, because I'm actually hungry for it.

Shit. Hindi puwede.

He's Cameron's bestfriend, cousin and the one who knew from the start that his cousin was not really serious about me. Isa siya sa kumunsinti sa kalokohan ng pinsan niya para lokohin ako. At. . . hinayaan kong mangyari iyon?

I know, it's partly my fault, too. Dapat noon pa talaga ay nakipag-date na ako para hindi ako pini-pressure ng ganito ni Lolo!

I hurriedly made my way back to the party. Nararamdaman kong nakasunod din si Alexander sa likuran ko at katulad ko, hindi na alam kung paano magsisimula ng usapan.

Actually. . . I don't want to talk. I'll be distracted again with his lips. It's a big temptation. Sana rin ay lumayo-layo muna siya kahit papaano. Gusto kong kumalma lang muna.

"Where were you?"

Halos madapa ako nang biglang humarang sa akin ang tatawa-tawang si January. Ginulat niya ako! She's obviously drunk because she can't even stand straight and she has that drunk blush.

Naningkit ang mga mata niya habang nakatingin sa likuran ko. It took her seconds to conclude something.

Shit.

"Aha! What did you do? Doon pa talaga kayo sa madilim ha. . ." she teasingly said and pointed at us with that annoying expression.

Nag-init ang pisngi ko at agad na binaba ang kamay niya.