The Art Of Hating

Chapter Forty-five

XLV. Wound

That's what's inside the cube. His letter for me. It was neatly folded inside.

He's shocked that I'm considering it?

I am mad about what he did and I broke up with him, yes. But my feelings won't change over night or even days, weeks or months just because he hurt me. I know I won't recover that fast. Just thinking about it seems. . . impossible.

And. . . the thought of him having a girlfriend really puts me off. I seriously don't want it. I fucking want him for myself. It sounds so selfish but it is what I'm feeling right now.

And. . . he said that himself, too. . . in that wooden puzzle I fixed.

Nag-init ang mga pisngi ko.

Right. It took me almost 2 hours to arrange that. Sa tagal ko nang nakahawak no'n, medyo nahirapan akong buksan ang locks. But as soon as I successfully opened the cube, a familiar fulfillment resurfaced in me. He really knew I'm in love with puzzles.

And of course, his message.

I am in love with you. Always yours, Miss Hyacinth Bliss Alegre Alvarado.

It was probably the cheesiest thing he said to me but I don't know why it got me. Siguro ay wala naman talaga akong pakialam kung paano niya sinabi 'yon dahil ramdam kong totoo 'yon because. . . I feel the same, too. It was the feeling of connection with him that I know what he said was true.

I just knew it's true.

Though, I still hate him for doing that to me.

There's no excuse for that and he reacted that way because the jealousy really got him.

I could say that what he did was shameful pero. . . ano nga rin ba ang pinagkaiba ko sa kanya ngayon? I am being difficult for the past days because of what he did.

And. . . am I happy doing that? No.

Nakokonsensya lang ako at nasasaktan din sa pang-iignora sa kanya.

At bawat araw na lumilipas, nadadagdagan lang ang selos ko dahil napapansin ko ang mga babaeng lumalapit at nagpapa-pansin sa kanya. Nagdidilim lagi ang paningin ko. I don't know I could be this territorial.

I fucking hate feeling this way but I just can't help it.

Kumurap si Alexander at doon ko lang na-realize na magkatitigan na pala kami ng matagal. That's when the awkwardness and another feeling thickened. . .

Nag-init agad ang mga pisngi ko at napaiwas ng tingin. Shit. Did I just said that? Seriously?

I was ready to bid good night because I'm ready to runaway with embarrassment but then, I heard someone laugh. It wasn't Alexander but the voice at our back.

Pareho kaming lumingon ng katabi ko at nanlaki agad ang mga mata ko nang makilala kung sino 'yon. It was the guy from the table next to me!

Talaga pa lang sumunod siya. What the hell? Kanina pa ba siya nanunuod at nakikinig?! The audacity of this guy to be this. . . creepy?!

"Siya boyfriend mo?" He laughed and pointed his finger at Alexander. He seems really drunk.

And where's his friends? Talagang hinahayaan nilang ganito ang kaibigan nila at hindi man lang pinipigilan? He might harass other girls in this resort!