The Art Of Hating

Chapter Thirty-nine

XXXIX. Misunderstanding

"What did you say?"

Lolo has that deep and dangerous voice. The reason why a lot of people were scared of him just hearing his voice. It was commanding and really demanding. Iyong tipong dapat naayon lang sa kanya ang isasagot mo. Kung hindi, hindi ka talaga matutuwa sa sasabihin o gagawin niya.

But I'm not like those employees even though I'm scared of him, too. I just feel like my fear towards him got to an end. Lalo na ngayon na nagde-desisyon siya sa bagay na dapat kami ni Alexander ang nag-uusap.

Hindi ko kailanman sinagot o sinuway si Lolo sa mga gusto niya. Tanging ngayon lang. And looking at his expression now, I think I provoked him somehow. He was expecting I'll give him an official date! Seryoso ba siya? Ilang buwan pa lang kami ni Alexander and he's expecting an engagement that fast?

I thought. . . he's keen and that he knew what we really feel? Bakit sa nakikita ko, hindi pa rin siya nagbabago? Na gusto niyang sa kanya pa rin ang kontrol sa lahat ng bagay?

"Walang engagement na mangyayari, Lolo." Paglilinaw ko.

Narinig ko ang tikhim ni Daddy na wari'y pinipigilan akong sumagot pa. Pero hindi ko na pinakinggan ang warning na 'yon. It's time I'll speak what's on my mind. And Lolo needs to hear it.

"Marriage is not a business proposal. Don't expect me to follow your orders, Lo. I get to choose when and who to marry." I said seriously.

"What?" Lolo mockingly laughed.

Naramdaman ko ang pagtindigan ng mga balahibo ko. His laugh sounds like it's already my end. Mas nanlamig ang pakiramdam ko.

Maayos niyang ilinagay ang napkin sa mesa pagkatapos pahiran ang bibig at tumitig sa akin. Now I understand where I got my judging eyes. "You talk like you're not that serious in this relationship."

What? He seriously didn't get my point!

"That's not what I mean, po. . ." Mahinahon kong sabi.

"Iyon ang pagkakaintindi ko. Why you're not considering a marriage with him is something. . . questionable. Perhaps. . . there's someone you really like, who you prefer to be married with."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil do'n. What the heck? Lolo laughed as if what he said is really funny. It wasn't! And why was he putting words into my mouth?

"Hindi po sa gano'n. . . Ang gusto ko lang pong sabihin ay masyado pang maaga para mag-decide sa mga ganyan."

"Aren't you sure about what you feel towards Alexander?" he continued being ridiculous. He even looked at me critically asked as if he'll know what's on my mind.

And he said that as if Alexander isn't around!

In my peripheral vision, Alexander moved on his seat as if he's uncomfortable with the question, too.

Napapikit ako ng mariin. Hindi alam kung magsasabi ba ako ng totoo o ano. But I feel like being brutally honest, now that Lolo's asking.

"If you're considering him as an asset to the company, then I should consider breaking up with him, too. I don't want to be in a relationship that you obviously want to control."

Halos sabay sina Mommy at Daddy sa pagsaway sa 'kin pero tuluyan na talaga akong naasar at naputol ang kontrol kahit natatakot sa galit ni Lolo. I know I will regret this because even in my ears, it sounds wrong. Na para bang ang dali lang para sa aking bitawan ang kung ano mang mayro'n kami ni Alexander.

Pero. . . tuluyan na akong nawalan ng pake.

I don't care if what I said will confuse everyone. I just realized that my hard work won't be enough for Lolo not until I marry the man he wanted for me.