unpredictable : mgc

Chapter 48.

*Brooke's POV*

I feel guilty about what I did to him.

I didn't want to lose him, but it was probably for the best. I had to let go of him. I couldn't trust him again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It's as if I'm not good enough for him, did I really fuck up that much? What did I do to deserve this?

I love Michael. I do.

But...I had to leave him.

I don't want us to stop being friends though, although I know it will take time for him or I to come around. It's gonna be awkward whenever we're around eachother, I could tell. There's not much I can do.

It's been a week since I broke up with him. Charlene, Shay and Amy we're here to comfort me and help. Luke came around to see me too, Calum texts me, and Ashton came by yesterday.

I felt the bed vibrate due to my phone, I grabbed it and saw a text.

From PimpTyrone: Hey, come around to mine NOW. Need to tell you and the others something.

To PimpTyrone: On my way :p

I got up and got ready, I was wearing black leggins, white converse, a black crop top and my white Mickey Mouse jumper that said 'Obey' and Mickey was giving the middle finger whoops. I left my hair straight, and I covered my blotchy red eyes eith eyeliner and mascara. Now no one can see that I've been crying non-stop for the past week. I painted my nails black and pushed on the wristbands and I put some tiny gold heart earrings on. And then I set off with my phone, ear buds, money and keys.

I was still feeling pain in my body, and it hurts when I move my wrists. But it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I've grown use to it. Sometimes I get the electrifying shoots of pain appear here and there, but I try my best to brush them off.

For this past week my mind has been on Michael, so I haven't really been paying much attention to the pains. Or my issue. I don't even know what it is.

I get it, I'm the one that ended 'us', I'm the one that broke his heart by breaking us up, and it's probably wrong of me to cry. But I felt guilty. I wanted him back. But I couldn't trust him. I'm not gonna have my heart stomped on anymore. I'm not gonna be stupid enough and give it back to him, it's already fragile. Seeing him with another girl killed me. It made me feel worthless, and fat and ugly compared to her, I tried my best not to cut myself. I promised Michael. So...I didn't. I seriously considered it, but I didn't. I left it.

On the bright side, my scars are slowly fading, so I don't need to wear the wristbands much. But I like them, so I wanna keep them anyway.

About half of my mind tells me to forgive Michael and give him a second chance, and maybe I will with time. But the other half tells me he can't be trusted, he'll do it again, I can do better, I don't believe it though.

Come on, let me give him another chance.

No, it'll end badly.

How would you know?

Do you want to feel so downgraded that you commit suicide?

No...

Then don't do it. That's what will happen.

How can you be so sure?

Will you fucking stop already?

No! He was the one!

Well you were the one who broke you two up.

I get it, and I'll be the one who'll bring us back together.