unpredictable : mgc

Chapter 24.

*Brooke's POV*

It was already 2 and a half weeks into summer vacation and I've done shit besides cut, cry and hide. But, I've been outside a bit more, and I'm eating, but I've decided being bulimic is better. So, I hardly ever stomach food. And I've noticed I've lost weight, I've been looking really bad lately, bones poking out more, darkness around my eyes from lack of sleep due to nightmares, my hair looks less thick and vibrant, and I've realised my hair falling out a lot lately. I looked it up on the internet and it said it can be because of stress. And I've become really weak, I can only walk for a bit until I suddenly collapse and I get horrible migranes a lot and I always have the feeling of being sick. And I always have head rushes and the feeling I'm gonna faint.Calum has been taking care of me, but he doesn't know about my cuts. Good. But he's been there a lot, and he's been such an amazing boyfriend and it's amazing since I've been a shit girlfriend and ugly no matter. But he still blames it on the bad patch I'm going through in life right now. He's stayed over a few times (No, we haven't done anything that includes the 'D') just to ease me when I get nightmares and helps me sleep easily, and I find it a lot easier when he is here because he gives me a warm, comforting, safe feeling. And you know what? I don't even think all of my self hate and everything is because of Michael not talking to me. I think it's literally because I've noticed how shit of a person I am. And I've realised that, without me here, I'd be making a lot of life's easier. Mandy and dad wouldn't have to put up with my sudden aggression and verbal burst outs, Calum wouldn't have to worry about taking care of a shit all-over-the-place girlfriend, Luke and Ashton wouldn't have to keep texting me every hour making sure I was alive or having to visit me because they're worried about me, and Michael could have a completely peaceful life. And the earth wouldn't need another person to waste their oxygen.

My dad was forced to put a strong net on my window so I wouldn't jump out of it and kill myself, due to my various threats of doing so.

I enjoyed my little turtle shell I've created. It's all I need.

I poke my head from out of my caccoon and look around my room. I haven't bothered cleaning it in ages so it looks like a mess of clothes thrown all over the place. And I saw on my bed side table a bunch of bottles with different pills, for migranes, weakness, sleeping, eating, stomach illness, antidepressants all of those. And I pulled my drawer in my bedside table slowly, and once it opened it revealed various blades I used for my self harm. And on que, I take on out and pull my other arm out of the blankets and look at it. Scars, scabs and cuts. That's all I saw. Every mark basically just screamed 'you're fucking pathetic Brooke, just jump off a bridge.' I traced over the marks with my finger, sponging in the feeling. Grazed...that's a way to put it. I took the blade from my right hand and cut a deep scar into my left forearm. I smiled through the tears I cried. It didn't hurt. Not like my heart.

I was in the middle of doing my second one before my door burst open causing me to panic. But it was too late.

"Hey Brooke! Rise and shi- Oh my fucking god." I looked up and saw Mandy and Calum there. Fuck.

"B-Brooke!" Calum whispered in shock. His eyes were wide but teared.

"NO! I FUCKING BROKE OUR PROMISE!" Mandy shouted then she burst into tears. I've never seen her like this. I sat on my bed, without saying anything, knowing I have just been caught doing my dirty little secret. "I p-promised...I b-broke it...no...Brooke...no..." Mandy cried.

"W-What promise?" I asked silently.

"I promised Mi-" she cut herself off, and I sent her a confused look. "M-myself...I promised myself I wouldn't let you do this."

"Brooke, baby, no please." Calum said through tears. He came over to me and slowly prised the blade from my grip and threw it to somewhere in my room, who knows where. "By the way, I think you're a fucking idiot. Why would you do this to yourself? You don't deserve it. You're hating yourself for no reason. And cutting doesn't help. I've never done it though, so I can't say much, but please stop. Self harming is stupid, I know that. And I wouldn't know what to do if you died. You're literally thr light of my life. And I wouldn't be able to let you go. Okay? We all love you so god damn much, and now we know you're doing this, we're shattered, we couldn't let this little princess out of our lifes. Brooke, you need to clean up, you can't do this. You're too special. Too beautiful. Too sweet. And too important. You mean so much to a lot of people. And we all love you so damn much. And you're a dickhead for deciding this was the best. I can't bear seeing you hurt like this. Now I feel bad, for obviously not taking good enough care, showing you enough love-"

"WHOA." I said cutting Calum off from his beautiful speech. "Stop right there Hood! That's not the case at all okay? You've taken care of me so much and I'm completely shocked you're still willing since I've been doing fuck all with life and with you. But you stuck through with me. And I thank you dearly, Calum Thomas Hood, best boyfriend of the year. Don't you dare blame this on yourself. It's not your fault. At all." I said before pecking his lips quickly.

"You're not a bad girl," he started.

"I'm just in a bad place." I finished.

I smiled slightly, but it faded as soon as my eyes fell on Mandy, in tears. And I think she's having a panic attack. She can't breathe she's choking.

"Calum go get her water fast!" I said. "Get dad!"

Calum fled as fast as he could and ran downstairs. I jumped off my bed and went over to Mandy, patting her back and trying to make her breathe. She was choking on air, and she was crying and she couldn't stop shaking. She was muttering some words I didn't understand. She was trying to move around frantically but I held her in place. She was half yelling half crying and the sight brough tears to my eyes knowing I couldn't do anything about it.

Before 10 seconds passed, Calum came into my room along with my father. Shit, he's gonna find out about me. But Mandy's all that matters to me right now.

"Hey, hey." Dad spoke soothingly to Mandy while patting her back. "Calm down. What's got you and Calum so upset?"

Calum ignored my father's gaze and gave Mandy the cup of water. She took it and drank it a bit. She instantly calmed down a bit. She sent me a look, I read it perfectly it was a look that said 'tell dad.' But I couldn't.

"Well? Why are you two so upset?" My dad asked again, eyeing Calum and Mandy. I began panicking, I wasn't wearing long sleeves, so if he looks my way he'll notice the blood rolling down my arm.

His face turned towards me and he was about to say something until his eyes landed on my arm. My heart dropped. Uh oh.

His eyes widened in shock and he began shaking his head slowly, as if denying it, telling himself he's imagining things.

"B-Brooke, are you fucking kidding?" He said finally. He never ever said a swear word so I knew this was serious. I didn't say anything. I saw his jaw clench and unclench. I noticed he was trying his best not to cry.

"A-Are you okay Mandy?" I asked her, ignoring my dad.

She shook her head. "I'll never be okay, now that I know what's on your arms." She sniffed.

"H-How long have you been doing this to yourself?" Dad asked.

"Uh..." I said. "Nearly 2 weeks I think."

"Brooke why? Why in the world would you do this?" He pleaded.

"We love you too much Brooke. You have to stop." Calum said.

"Brooke, I think you need help." Dad said.

A/N: Okay, so extremely short chapter! Sorry. But I've noticed that I always pack too much stuff into the chapters.

1 VOTE TILL NEXT CHAPTER.

-Sierrah x