safe haven │ larry stylinson

39

Louis' POV

Hatred was the only thing he felt. Louis hated himself so much. He went straight to the bathroom as soon as Eleanor opened the door to their hotel room. His nose was still bleeding and his right eye was swollen and already turning blue. His bottom lip was bleeding and swollen as well.

Eleanor pushed him down and he didn't say anything while he sat on the edge of the bathtub. She started cleaning his face and he flinched now and then.
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened" Louis snapped and felt sorry immediately. Eleanor gave him the evil eye. "Sorry" He mumbled and she nodded.
"So?"
"I ended it.." He couldn't say it out loud, it was just a whisper but she heard him.
"WHAT?!"

He flinched and looked down.
"You better explain everything before I lose myself and hit you as well!" El snapped.
"It's only for the best. He doesn't need me. He's finally found himself. He'll find someone who's better for him than I can ever be. We just continue like we did the years before. You and me, the girls.. Everyone is safe. Simon is happy"
He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "It's for the best"
He was sure that Harry would find someone. The thought of seeing him with someone else was already killing him but it was for the best. It was the best thing he could do. Louis couldn't risk that Simon would hurt his family, Harry or Eleanor.

"Why do you always think you have to decide? What gives you the right to decide for his best? Or for mine or the girls'? Did you ask any of us? You didn't. You didn't ask what we want"
"The girls would've wanted me to stay with him. They would've wanted me to risk it all. I know that. But I can't risk to destroy their lives. Or your life"
"So you just go on and destroy Harry's and yours? That's a pity of an excuse and you know that. Don't dare to say you decided for us. You did what you thought would be best. But you don't know that, Louis"

Eleanor shook her head in disappointment and threw away the cloth she had cleaned his face with. "And it's not an excuse for what you said to Zayn. You made Harry think that you don't care about him. That's even worse than hating him. Indifference is worse than everything else. You broke his heart again and I don't think you can ever make this up again. The only thing you have proven tonight is that you are a coward, congratulations"

With those words she left him sitting in the bathroom and shut the door. He flinched again and placed his head in his hands. Louis knew that she was right. He was a coward. But he just couldn't bear the thought of someone getting hurt because he put his own happiness before everyone else's.
Silent tears streamt down his face as he sat there. Why did everything go wrong? Why couldn't everything just be okay? Why couldn't he just be okay?
Louis closed his eyes and tried to inhale calmly but failed and sobbed.

Flashback

The man giggled and walked around the piano while Louis played the little melody that was stuck in his head.
"If you could see how cute you look the way you sit there and try to get something together" He grinned and walked over at him.
Louis rolled his eyes. "I'm not cute. I'm hot"
"You're both. But mostly cute. My cute little baby"
"Oi! Shut up, I'm big"
"'course you are" Harry laughed and Louis took his hand. He pulled the man over and pulled him on his lap.

"I'm big, love. And now be quiet. The others will hear you"
Their faces were close as Harry looked him in the eyes. "They won't. Do you know why?" He kissed him and Louis wanted to kiss him back but Harry's lips were already moving downwards from his lips to his chin and Louis smiled.
"Because they don't know about us. They will never figure that out"
He started kissing down his neck and Louis sighed.
"They don't know about us" He started sucking on his neck and Louis coughed.
"They don't know about the things we do" He felt Harry biting gently the skin of his neck and held his breath. "They don't know about the 'I Love Yous' and if they did, they would be hella jealous" He felt his lips as the man whispered against his neck before he kissed it again. Louis closed his eyes and hummed. He knew that there would be a hickey afterwards but he didn't give a fuck.

He felt Harry's lips kissing upwards again until he placed his lips back on Louis. "The don't know about the kisses that feel sweeter every time. They don't know how you taste. They don't know what you've done to my heart. Or how special you are. And of course they don't know what we do best. That's our little secret, isn't it?"
Before Louis could answer, Harry's lips were back on his and Louis arms wandered around the man's body. His hand slipped under Harry's shirt and he started stroking up and down his skin.

For a short little moment, Louis parted his lips from Harry's. "No, they don't know about us"
He kissed him again, more passionate this time. Harold Edward Styles was his and he would never let him go.

When they parted, Harry's forehead was leaning on his and Louis looked straight into his beautiful green eyes.
"I love you, Lou"
"I love you more"
"That's not possible" The curlyhead grinned.
"Obviously it is, you little fool" Louis replied.
"You are the little one"
"Oh c'mon"
Harry laughed and his body vibrated. Suddenly Louis eyes grew wide.
"What?" Harry looked at him and frowned. "What's wrong, darling?"

Louis placed the hand that had been in Harry's curls back on the piano. His head was leaning against Harry's and the man watched him as he started to play the tones again. This time he had a text in mind and started singing what he thought of as the chorus.

"They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the 'I Love Yous' but I bet you if they only knew they would just be jealous of us.

They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all this time
Just to find you love, it feels so right
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us"

He finished and looked at Harry who's eyes were sparking. Before he could say something, Harry started singing.

"One touch, and I was a dreamer,
every of your kisses tastes a little sweeter
It's getting better, keeps getting better every time babe"

They hummed the chorus together, both of them smirking before Louis started singing the next verse.

"They don't know how special you are.."
He paused, trying to figure the next part out.
"They don't know what you've done to my heart"
Harry continued and Louis grinned as he took over the next part.
"They can't see anything, cause they don't know about us"
He finished but Harry continued, singing a bridge.
"They don't know what we do best
It's between me and you a little secret"
"But I don't care 'cause you're mine, oh mine boy" Louis finally finished whispering.
They grinned at each other for a few seconds before Harry placed his lips on his again. Between several kisses, Louis whispered "I love you" over and over again. He just couldn't tell him enough. That boy with the curls just made his world.

End of Flashback

The memory made him sob even more. All he wanted to be was with Harry. He wanted to be with the man he loved more than his life, wanted to feel his strong arms around his body. But he knew that he would never feel that again.