safe haven │ larry stylinson

60

Harry's POV

It was the best feeling he had felt in a long time. Louis laying on top of him, curled up, his arms holding him. Harry's fingers wandered down Louis body, gently drawing circles on his skin.
"Does it hurt..?" Louis looked up at him and Harry shook his head. Truth was it did hurt. His backside felt sore, was even burning a little bit. But he wouldn't tell him that. Because at the end of the day, Harry loved it. There was nothing he would prefer to feel right now.
"Don't worry, darling. It feels amazing" That was the truth.

A smile made its way on Louis smile and Harry's heart jumped. It took so little to make him happy. Just his damn smile. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Louis' head. "I wish it could be like this all the time. Just family and us. Just don't care about others" He mumbled and sighed.

Flashback
"I wish it could be like this all the time" Harry admitted, his eyes closed while Louis kissed his back.
"I know.. Me too. But you know that we can't" Louis sighed and Harry bit his lip.
"I know.."
"We can't let them know. You know what Simon told us. It would ruin our career.."
Harry didn't say anything for a moment. He bit his lip even more and looked at the wall.
"Harry.. You knew that. We both did when we started this relationship.."
"I know. I just wish- I just wish I had known that I would love you.." He mumbled the last part, not looking at Louis. He was afraid of his reaction.
"What?"
Harry didn't answer. You shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have said that. He's 22. You're 19. He doesn't love you the way you love him.

"Harry, look at me" Feeling the heat rising to his cheeks, he turned and looked at Louis.
"I'm sorry. Just forget that-.."
"Forget what? That you just said you love me?..!"
Harry nodded, not dating to look into Louis' eyes. He knew that he would cry if he did.
Suddenly he felt Louis' hand on his cheek.
"I will never forget that. Ever. I love you too, curlyhead"
That Harry was suprised was an understatement. He was shocked. "What?"
"I love you too. Thought you knew that" Louis said with a smirk on his face.
"How would I know?!"
Louis shrugged and Harry smiled even brighter. But suddenly the realization hit him. Love made it even harder to hide. They would be around each other in public for weeks, even months. Without kissing or touching or any form of affection.
End of Flashback

"It will be" Louis promised, his eyes closed as he enjoyed Harry's kisses on his head and shoulders.
"That would mean risking everything for you.." He realised and bit his lip. He didn't want Louis to risk everything just for him. At the same time he knew he couldn't and wouldn't survive the hiding anymore. Fearing to be seen holding hands or kiss. Not able to go have dinner as a couple or have a date at the cinema.

"And I am willing to risk it all. I want you, Harry. I am a wreck when I'm without you. I don't want that anymore. If it means being with you I will give up everything"
"And that scares me.." Harry admitted and looked in those blue eyes.
"You don't have to be scared. I am not. Do you just..-"
He stopped and looked away and Harry gently turned his face so his boyfriend would look at him again. "What?"
"Would you survive.. not coming out until the tour is over? I know what I promised and I will keep that promise.. Just those few months?"

As those blue eyes looked at him, Harry could help himself and nodded. Knowing that this was going down the path he had told Gemma he wouldn't go down anymore, knowing that this was leading to the exact same thing as before. He still nodded. After all, he would survive that, wouldn't he? Just a little longer. If it meant being with Louis forever it was a temporary setback he could survive.

"As soon as tour is over, we'll go out. Together. Just the two of us. And we'll go on vacation, what do you think?"
It sounded like a dream. Going out on an actual date. Holding hands. Kissing. Laughing. Without worrying about being seen.
"I'd love that" Harry admitted and blushed as he thought about laying at the beach next to Louis. Making out in the hot sun. The smell of sunscreen and sand. Salt air. Enjoying pasta and pizza in the sunset. Being in bed with the view of the coast in front of them.