safe haven │ larry stylinson

56

Harry's POV

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

Harry's entire body felt like it had been set on fire. How dare Louis to just kiss him like that. Taking a few steps back he looked at him furiously.
"Harry- I'm so sorry- I- I didn't think-.." Louis looked at him, his blue eyed wide open. "I shouldn't have- I'm so sorry.."
Harry just shook his head. Trying to stay calm he took another step back. "Do you think I'm some slut you can just kiss whenever you like? Did you think just because I love you I'd let you do that?-"
"I love you too, for god's sake.." He nearly didn't hear it because Louis just mumbled the sentence.

"What?"
"I fucking love you Harry, that hasn't changed. It never had!"
For a moment Harry didn't say anything. He felt as he was being played with. Anger, frustrating and desperation made his body tense. "Don't you dare, Tomlinson!"
"But it's the truth, Harry. I am sorry.."
"All of the sudden you're sorry? Well you didn't seem sorry when you left me a few days ago. What are you trying to do? I'm not here for your dumb games, I can't do that anymore"
"I'm not playing games, Harry. I'm just trying to protect everyone I love.."
"I really don't get it anymore. I'm so done with this. I'm so done with you!" He shook his head. Harry was tired of all of this. He just wanted to.. He didn't even know exactly what he wanted. But Harry was tired of the pain, numb from all of this.

"I know.. Look- I don't deserve that you listen to me. I know that. Please just listen. You don't have to forgive me- just let me explain"
"What explaining do you have to do?! You said more than enough already. Don't you remember what you said? Well, I remember. Because it's fucking burnt in my mind. It's burnt in my mind how you told Zayn he could fuck me. Or how you told me you don't love me. Or how you left me crying, begging on my knees. You left me Louis. After telling me everything you knew would break me! You fucking left me!"

Harry wouldn't listen. He was furious, anger was heating up his face. But there were also tears. But he wouldn't let them fall down. There was no chance he would let Louis back in. The gates were closed. He was done. At least he wished he was. His heart wanted nothing more than an explanation that was worth forgiving him. That was worth forgetting what he had said. You can't make me happy.
"I said what I had to say to make sure you wouldn't get back with me, DAMNIT!"

Harry shook his head. "I'm tired of your mood changes, Louis. I don't want to hear your lies" His voice had quieten down, it was just a little louder than a whisper now. He wanted to turn away but saw the tears shimmering in Louis' eyes. The man leaned over and stopped Harry by taking his hand.

"That's why I'm going to tell you nothing but the truth from now on. Please, Harry. I don't deserve that you listen to me. The only thing I want you to know is that I said it to protect you.."
"Protect me? Why would that protect me?" Harry shook his head. "Protect me from whom?"
"From me. Because we couldn't have been in a relationship any longer- it would've ruined our careers.. Please, let me explain"
The blue eyes looked at him and Harry's heart melted. He pulled away his hand from Louis' and crossed his arms. Trying to look furious, he nodded and looked at him. "Go on"

"If I hadn't ended our relationship- like if I didn't end it the way that you wouldn't think of coming back with me- if I hadn't done that- Simon would've ended your career, my career and my sisters career"
"What?..!" Harry stood up and looked at him in shock. He was left in disbelief about Simon stepping in in their relationship again. And Louis doing it again.
"You remember Melbourne..?"
Harry chuckled sarcastically. "Oh no, I don't"
Louis looked down for a moment, leading to Harry feeling bad immediately. He hadn't meant to be mean to him. But at the moment it was his protection mechanism. He knew that he shouldn't let him in again. He shouldn't do the same mistake again.

"Before that..in Melbourne.. The same night before our show- Simon, he gave me an ultimatum. I should..end things with you or he would end everything for the people I love" Harry brushed through his hair with his hand and exhaled.
"And you just did that?..!"
Louis nodded and Harry exhaled loudly.
"Communication, Louis. You should've talked to me! That's what you do in a relationship. That's what you promised to do. We would've found a way. Instead you just continue to be his puppet!"
"I know.. I know..- I was scared Harry. I- the thought alone of you or the girls being harmed because of me. Because of my feelings- I just couldn't bear the thought"

"What about me Louis? What about my feelings? Obviously you didn't care enough about me to know how much I love you! I give a damn about Simon! He can try to take those things away. But he won't succeed. Because what you don't see is that he isn't the one in charge. He may be on paper. But the fans are the real ones. And if they truly believe in us and love us, they will support us no matter what. And he couldn't harm the girls. They wouldn't let him. That's what I would've told you. I would've had your back if you had talked to me. But instead you left me standing on my own. You decided for me. And for the girls. I can't change that anymore-.." Harry looked away, looked out of the window towards the trees, his eyes filling with tears.

"So it's over?" It was just a mumble but he heard it. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, holding back the tears from streaming down.
"Damn, Lou. How am I supposed to believe you ever again? How can I truly trust you? I've seen this film before. And I didn't like the ending. Why should I do that same mistake again..? I- I just don't know how I can trust you ever again"
He turned around, looked in those blue eyes and felt his heart aching. He loved Louis from the bottom of his heart. But sometimes love wasn't enough, was it?

"Harry-" Louis paused and inhaled deeply. "I can't change what I did. And I know that I don't deserve you. There's no But after that because there's nothing that would turn that around. All I can say is- I love you. And I know that despite all the problems others caused- the two of us always worked out. And I'm ready to face it now. Everything. I want us. No matter the costs. I just want to be with you"
The man had stood up and walked over to him, his right hand now laying on Harry's cheek. "I want to fight for us. That's the truth"

"How can I ever know that you are telling the truth?" He whispered, looking in the blue eyes.
"Because I will prove it to you" Determination was in Louis' voice as his thumb stroke over Harry's cheek.
"You said that already. And you didn't.."
"But I will this time. Because I can't live without you Harry. Please. Give me this last chance. Let me fight for you"

He had lost. Harry couldn't resist. His head was overruled by his heart. His heart that only wanted Louis. No matter how hard he would fall again. His heart wanted Louis and it would always want him.
"Okay"
"What?" Louis looked at him in shock. Shocked by his words his eyes grew wide.
"I said okay"
"I heard that. I just wanted to hear it again- You give me another chance?"
"I can't hold myself back from you. But- Louis I won't survive that again- I can't-"
Louis cut him off. "You won't have to. I'm with you. You won't get rid of me. Ever again."
"Promise?"
"Promise"

This time it was Harry who placed his lips on Louis'. Without hesitating, the man kissed him back. Harry pulled him close, his hands buried in Louis' hair.