safe haven │ larry stylinson

5

Harry's POV
Harry couldn't think straight. He didn't know how to perform with knowing that Louis would be there. He would be watching him.
He didn't know how he should be able to sing songs in front of him that were written about him. They were painful to sing anyway but with him watching it would be heartbreaking.

"Harry? Did you hear that?" He moved again. "Sorry, what was that?"
"We agreed that we would sing songs of all albums. And that each of us will sing one of his solo songs because it's part of who we are now. You agree?" Liam looked at him, questioning.
Harry nodded. "Sure"
"Well are there any songs you would want to sing of our albums in particular?" Liam listed every song they had agreed on and Harry nodded again. "Sounds good."

"Maybe we should do something like a suprise song each night? Like one song that's only performed at one show? For example 'Act My Age' in Dublin or something?" Niall grinned over Harry's idea.
"Great idea! You up for that?" Liam looked at the other boys and wrote down everything. They agreed in love with the idea of giving the fans a suprise each night.

"Good then we did it. We've covered everything. I'll tell Simon what we came up with" Liam finished.
"I'd like to go home now. Sorry boys I'm really tired. Been traveling the last week." Zayn looked at his four mates. It wasn't an excuse, he looked really tired.
"Sure, maybe we should all leave now. I'll spend the rest of the evening with listening to all of your music" Liam grinned. "Ohh, Li! I'll do that too!" Niall exclaimed. The Irish was filled with pure joy. They stood up and walked to the door. Liam - the polite one as always - thanking Harry for dinner.
They all were excited about the show on Saturday evening - except for Harry and Louis. Without looking at each other again both men parted ways and Harry closed the door after they had left.

Saturday evening
Louis' POV
Louis sat in his seat, waiting with the other 3 boys for the show to begin. They just had met Harry's mother Anne and his sister Gemma who were also seated in the VIP area where they couldn't be seen by the fans.
He hadn't seen them in a long time and even though he once had a great relationship with both of them they were distant now. He didn't know if Harry had told them but he felt bad either way.

There were only 10 minutes left until the show would start. He didn't know what to expect. He just wanted these hours to pass quickly. He told himself that he would survive this. He would get through this.

Suddenly all lights went off and there were screams all around them. All four boys were amazed by the amount of people who came here for Harry.
When Harry appeared on stage all of Louis' bodycells went crazy. All he wanted to do was be alone with him. Rip off his shirt with the huge cutout.
That Harry performing right there was his Harry. He was simply being himself on stage. And the fans loved him nearly as much as Louis did.
He couldn't focus on anything else than his smile and him singing and jumping around. The way he talked to fans, made them smile and scream was incredible. He was entertaining in every way.

Louis didn't know how much time had passed when suddenly the lights changed and the mood changed with it.
"So- uhm- this next song is very personal for me. This is 'Falling'."
The piano started playing and Louis noticed the fans were holding up their flashlights. The atmosphere was incredible. But then Harry started singing.

I'm in my bed
And you're not here
And there's no one to blame but the drink and your wandering hands

Louis nearly stopped breathing. He suddenly knew this song. He hadn't heard it before. But he knew what it was about. It was about him letting Harry down.

Forget what I said
It's not what I meant
And I can't take it back
I can't unpack the baggage you left.

He did leave him and he left a baggage at Harry's. He still hadn't unpacked it? Was that true?
He left him alone. Louis could feel the tears coming up in his eyes as he watched the man he loved with all his heart.

What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I'm someone I don't want around?

The knowledge that Harry felt like he changed so much that he didn't even know if he was someone he didn't want around hurt him. But as Harry went on Louis couldn't stop tears from rolling down his cheeks. He didn't notice that the other boys looked at him. And if he had noticed it wouldn't have mattered.

I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'

Looking at the screen, Louis noticed that Harry was crying too. Tears ran down his cheeks. It hurt him seeing him like this.

What if I'm down?
What if I'm out?
What if I'm someone you won't talk about?
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'

That's when realization hit him. He was the one who was responsible for Harry's pain. For Harry trying to be someone he wasn't when he wasn't on the stage. He had let him fall. He had let him down. And there was nothing he could do to undo it.

You said you cared
And you missed me, too
And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you
And the coffee's out
At the Beachwood Café

The lyrics confirmed that the song was about him. It was their place. They never really had a date in public but once, at the Beachwood Café.

And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

Louis wanted to say a million things but he simply couldn't. They hadn't talked for five years to be honest. And he didn't think that would change after the dinner a few days ago. He had done too much wrong five years ago.
Harry sung the chorus again with such a passion in his voice. His eyes were closed but the tears were still visible on his cheeks.

I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin' again
I'm fallin'
And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again

Louis swallowed. He needed Harry. Over the past few years he never wanted to admit it. But he knew that he needed him more than anything else. More than anyone else. And he had to tell him.