safe haven │ larry stylinson

last words

Done.

I still remember writing the first few chapters chapters last summer in 2020. I wrote them in a rush, not thinking I would reactive my 2013 Wattpad account. But here we are. Nearly two years later with a book that comprises 100 chapters: some of them sad (most of the time I cried like a baby when I wrote those), some happy (I danced around my room in the middle of the night) and some explaining, explanations given to situations I couldn't explain myself. To this day I still think that at some point Larry was real, I'd like to believe that because there are little moments, pictures that we saw that tell a story Harry and Louis never did. I tried to take at least some of those moments and put them into sage haven.

Safe haven. I came up with that title after writing about three chapters. It has always been my intention to create a relationship that felt like safety. A relationship with all its ups and downs, its moments where you just want to punch the wall because one of them does something incredibly stupid. But the other one forgives him in a heartbeat. Because that's what it is. You guys screamed at Harry for forgiving Louis all the time and quickly. But I think that's what love is at some point. There are things that cannot be forgotten and in my mind, Harry didn't forget those. He still had nightmares, sometimes he would take his time off. But he would always come back because Louis is his true love. And I really want to believe that true love is real.
In my mind Louis still remembered his mistakes as well. Every now and then out of nowhere he'd buy a big bouquet of red roses and shrug when Harry asked what they were for.

To be honest with you I also put a lot of myself, my depression and my self-doubt in this book. In a way I wrote what I felt by letting Harry collapse in that shower. This book helped me to overcome or at least deal with my pain. Louis and Harry did. You guys did. Thank you for that.

And thank you for making this book what it is now. You guys gave me ideas by commenting things I didn't even think of. You guys read this book. Without you, yes you infront of that phone or laptop right here, this book would've never been what it is now. A book with over 60 thousand reads. Without you I probably would've stopped writing when I was low. But because of you I didn't stop. I wrote and wrote and here we are.

For you, infront of that screen right now: whatever you're fighting, whenever you have self-doubt, whenever you want to give up. Don't. You're so much more than what you think you are. You don't have to deal with mental illness or a bad phase for me to tell you now that you are loved. You are worthy. You are beautiful. And I am proud of you. Louis and Harry are. Keep chasing your dreams, one day they'll come true. And until then: my DMs are open. Always. I'd love to get to know some of you. And if you need someone to talk to, I'll be right here. This book may be over but I'm working on other projects. I don't know which will make it but I'm sure someday you'll get a notification that I uploaded something. Until then, stay safe and keep your head up.