A Promise (An Attack on Titan Fanfic: Erwin Smith)

Aftermath

Darkness. An empty void of chasm stretched around Isanna, utter silence enveloping her, and in the middle of the murky void was her lone figure. 

She couldn't see anything. Had she gone blind? Or was there no light in the first place?

"Isanna!" 

The girl whipped her head to the voice, finally seeing other forms of life aside from her. Her friends were there, just a good distance away from her. Chiara and Adalaide were waving their hands, beckoning her over. Adrian and Mike were beside them, smiling at her direction. She slowly took tentative steps towards them, before eventually running into a full sprint, a hand outstretched. 

Something in the back of her mind was telling her to run like her life depended on it. Run like the wind, run towards her friends - before she was too late. 

With a gasp, a sudden force of gravity pulled Isanna downwards, and she found herself falling into what seemed like an endless dark crevasse, her arms flailing and extended upwards in dire hopes of latching onto something that could stop her from falling. No voice could be heard from Isanna's throat, no matter how much she tried to shout for help. 

A hand suddenly shot out to grab her shoulder, causing the girl to look over. 

Her eyes widened, stomach churning at the sight. It was Adalaide, but her eye sockets were empty with blood dripping down from the emptiness. 

Another hand grabbed Isanna's forearm and she looked to her right, freezing. Chiara, but her skin was peeling off and she was drenched in blood. 

Two hands groped on her feet and Isanna jerked her head downwards, feeling the bile rise up her throat when she saw Adrian and Mike with empty eye sockets staring at her. 

And then, they seemingly disappeared. And Isanna felt cold fingers wrap around her neck, slowly cutting away her supply of air. She lifted her eyes in front of her and caught her breath in the back of her throat when she saw Erwin, with no signs of his blue irises in his eye sockets - but she was sure he was staring at her, deeply into her soul. 

His lips that were dried up with blood parted to say something. 

"You are weak."

Isanna sat up with a gasp, hands automatically slapping her neck and feeling the coldness of her skin that was drenching in shivering sweat. Her body was shaking, the palpitating beating of her heart drumming loudly in her chest like it was just begging to come out. She desperately clawed her neck with a repressed whimper, as if she was trying to pry out those ice-cold hands that had been clutching around her neck in her dream - as if it was reality. 

Panting loudly, Isanna moved her hands to grab her head with a groan, pulling on her hair while bending her knees, the thin blanket of her mattress lay forgotten by her feet. With eyes closed shut, she tried to push away the dreadful scenes from the nightmare, but she realized she had just woken up into one as well. A nightmarish reality. 

Isanna gagged at the vomit that threatened to come out and swept her legs across the bed, dashing out of the almost-empty room and down the winding dim corridors towards the bathrooms. 

Bursting into the nearest cubicle, Isanna didn't bother to shut the doors as she threw herself into a kneeling position in front of the toilet and retched out the contents from her stomach, gurgling sounds filling the otherwise-quiet restroom. 

Her fingernails dug into the toilet seat, not caring about the bacteria possibly on it as Isanna hung her head low while saliva dripped down her lips after barfing out a murky substance that was now swirling inside the toilet water. 

"Good work, Herrmann."

"You graduated top of the class, what're you so nervous about?"

"It's my turn to protect you."

Isanna shakily backed up away from the toilet and slumped against the walls of the cubicle, before tremulously lifting an arm to wipe the saliva off her chin. 

Top one? The girl scoffed. Protect?

She had thought she was strong enough. She pushed herself into training hard, way past her limit to improve every physical aspect in her. Muscular strength, endurance, agility, speed, 3DM gear skills - she had mastered everything. She thought she did. 

Who was she kidding?

Protect? Protect who, exactly? 

Isanna thought about how she had to get her pathetic ass watched over by Erwin again back at the expedition, when he had luckily found her amidst the forest while searching for survivors. She knew damn well had she not been found by him, she wouldn't even be back here.

She was the one who needed protecting. 

"I.." Isanna trailed off with a quiver, her voice croaking at her sandy throat from crying too much earlier before going to bed. She could taste the saltiness of her tears cascading down her cheeks. "I'm... still.. weak."

And then, she laughed. 

She was laughing so hard, so loud, her voice resonating throughout the tiled walls and floors of the restroom, while tears were still streaming down her face. She knew she sounded like a maniac. Well, she was getting close to one. 

Her laughing fit was cut short when she started coughing, bursts of hacking erupting from her throat; and when the coughing subsided, the silence filled back in.  

Hours passed by with Isanna simply staring at the grey walls in the confined space of the cubicle.  By the time she came to, she could already make out the fading morning light passing through the small rectangular windows at the top of the wall. 

With great effort, Isanna pushed herself up, feeling like a tone of bricks had been stacked on her shoulders. She stepped out of the cubicle and stared at the mirror in front of her, her palms resting on the sink. 

She was a mess. Unkempt, dark strands sticking out, puffy eyes with dark circles around them, and pale lips. She looked like shit, and she felt like one. 

Not that she cared. 

After splashing some water on her face, Isanna made her way out of the restroom and had to drag herself back to her room, her body swaying from time to time as she walked - like a lifeless puppet. She would pass by an occasional open window, with the soft light of dawn peering inside the gaps and casting light inside the corridor. When the girl reached her room, she saw that most of her roommates, all wearing sunken faces, were sitting on their beds while they were packing their things in their luggages, a deafening silence above them. 

Isanna didn't know how long she was standing, but she eventually snapped out of her daze when one by one, after packing, they quietly passed by her and exited the room with their luggages in their hand, some pitifully shooting Isanna apologetic looks. 

And it dawned on her. They were resigning. Resigning from the Survey Corps. 

Isanna eventually found herself left standing in the middle of the room, with empty bunk beds. Alone.