TRY . jinlia

041

[ CHOI LIA'S ]

Mabilis lumipas ang araw dahil pagkatapos nitong finals week namin ay graduation na naming mga Senior students. Hindi ko pa mamamalayan iyon kung hindi kami ni-remind ng class adviser namin para sa magaganap na practice para doon.

I'm not planning to go since I'll be busy packing my stuff para sa pagluwas ko sa siyudad kasama si Papa. We both decided to just move there together dahil ayon nga, he'll worry about me and vice versa. Hindi na namin prinoblema ang magiging trabaho niya doon dahil agad naman siyang nakahanap at natanggap. My father's an outstanding man kaya sana'y hindi na ako nag-alanganin pang lumuwas noon.

I might be also one of the top 5 in our class, isang rason kung bakit nagdadalawang isip ako kung dadalo ba ng graduation o hindi na. Isa pa, baka magtampo sina Aecha at Sojin sa'kin.

My life's been quiet for these past months and I'm not gonna lie, I missed living my life like this. Nakatago sa sulok, alam kung saan magfo-focus. Nakakapagod rin palang ngumiti. I realized smiling was tiring but I don't regret a thing. Isa iyon sa mga na-realize ko nitong mga nakaraang buwan—nakakapagod ngumiti. I once found a reason to smile but it left me tired in the end.

I'm a person who doesn't like smiling, laughing, or joking around for a reason I also don't know but I'm glad I experienced stuff like those even for a very small time. There's not much reason to smile now but I still have my father and friends. I managed to live years with that and now I can't wait for more.

Ryujin and I... we're still young. Ang pagmamahal, hindi dapat pinipilit. That was my fault at the very beginning. I should've went with the flow at hindi pinilit ang sarili kay Ryujin... but it happened. I just plan to move on with my new life in the city and forgive myself in the process.

"Li, pahiram nga ng calculator," napakurap ako nang marinig si Sojin at agad namang inabot iyon sakaniya.

We're in the cafeteria to review and eat lunch for the break. Second day ng finals ngayon at pareho kaming busy na tatlo, especially Sojin who's running for top 1 in their class. I busied myself with my studies the past months but I know my limits kaya hanggang top 5 lang talaga ang tinatarget kong makuha. But if it didn't happen my way, then it's fine. I'll just do better next time.

"Li, pa-help naman dito sa Chem," my eyes left my notes when Aecha poked me with a pout on her lips making me roll my eyes jokingly.

"Saan ba?" I left my notes for a while at tinuruan na nga siya. Tinatamad ako pero ayaw ko rin namang tumanggi dahil parang review ko na rin ito.

"Okay, sige. Gets ko na. Thankies!" si Aecha nang matapos ako.

I sighed in relief then tried to focus back on my notes in Philo but somehow failed dahil nabablangko ako. I let go of my pen and closed my notebook.

Tumayo ako kasama ang wallet ko. "Bili lang ako ng chocolate at tubig," paalam ko sa dalawang nakayuko, busy pa rin sa pagrereview.

I left the moment they nodded. Hindi gaanong marami ang estudyante ngayon sa cafeteria kaya hindi ako nagtagal. I walked back to our table immediately but stopped when somebody block my way.

I stopped sipping my chuckie then met Chaeryeong's eyes. She had her usual blank face when not talking but it's just a little bit melancholic now.

I tried to raise my left brow but stopped myself from doing it dahil ayaw ko namang magmukhang masungit at well, bitter. "Excuse me?" usal ko at sinubukang dumaan pero hinarangan niya lang ulit ako.

"Lia, let's talk," usal niya, nasa sahig na ang tingin ngayon.

I tried so hard not to scoff pero hindi yata naging sapat iyon. "I'm busy reviewing. Ikaw, hindi ba?" hindi rin sa nagmamaldita pero kusa nalang itong lumalabas talaga.

"Saglit lang! P-Promise..." she has her puppy eyes now and I want to say it isn't working but... it is.

I checked my wristwatch while I sip on my chuckie and saw I still have time. I sighed before nodding. "Where?"

Her eyes lit up before going back to its normal state. Sumenyas siyang sundan ko siya at 'yon nga ang ginawa ko. I glanced back to our table and saw Aecha and Sojin looking back at me worriedly but I gave them a small smile before following Chaeryeong out of the cafeteria.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay tumigil na rin siya. Ubos na ang inumin ko nang ilibot ko ang mga mata ko kung nasaan kami ngayon. Nasa likod kami ng cafeteria at malayo sa ibang estudyante.

I sighed before folding my arms to my chest and looked at Chaeryeong who seem to be struggling. I sighed for the nth time. "Anong pag-uusapan natin?"

She took a deep breath multiple times and I just watched her, waited for her until she was ready. I might hate her right now but that doesn't mean that I have to be rude.

"I've been keeping this with me for a l-long time now... And I guess you now know what I am talking about..." her voice was trembling. "I'm so sorry. I was so selfish. Sobrang sama ko nadamay ka pa."

"I did plan it but I didn't expect it to be this way. Yes, I wanted Yeji and Ryujin to be over even from the moment I knew the thing going on between them, from the moment I knew they were betraying me especially Ryujin! Alam niyang mahal ko si Yeji p-pero..." she cried so hard at that and then suddenly I feel sympathy for her.

"I wanted someone to look like the culprit with the leaked pictures of them since I also knew the reason why they just can't come out as a couple and it was you... and now you're i-in love with my friend then I heard the thing happened between you two. I'm sorry. I didn't expect it to be this way, I swear. I didn't know you'll fall in love with each other. I feel so bad everytime I see the hearts in your eyes whenever you look at my friend... Lia, I'm so sorry..."

Nanginginig na ang braso niya dahil sa kakaiyak. Her words weren't that coherent but I understand her. I just feel so numb now.

She has her reasons and I understand her. Pero paano naman ako? I am innocent, noong una palang. I want to stop her from talking and just let things be but I just couldn't. The pain I avoided for the past months came back like time was nothing.

Kulang nalang yata ay lumuhod siya sa harap ko. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Lia..."

I blinked the tears off of my eyes before sighing heavily. I waited for her to calm down for a bit before I started opening my mouth.

"You were brave for admitting your mistakes... but Chaer, wala na e. Huli ka na..."

Inangat niya agad ang tingin niya nang marinig iyon at umiling-iling. "No! I'll tell Ryujin. I'll tell Ryujin the truth! Please, fix the two of you. Lia, please..."

Ako naman ang umiling. "No. Just let things be... I want to say let's just put everything in the past but I can't. At least not yet. The damage has been done and I don't want anything to do with it anymore. It's not that I forgive you... and yes I hate you now but don't let that get into your head. The day we'll see each other again after our graduation, I've probably forgiven you."

Patuloy pa rin ang pagtulo ng luha niya habang nakikinig saakin.

I gave her a small smile. "Thank you for telling the truth, Chaer. And uh... congratulations. Goodluck na rin," I awkwardly bid her goodbye before turning my back to walk away, finally letting the tears fall from my eyes.

A/N: hiiiiiii!! AFTER TWO MONTHS MAY UPDATE NA. SANA MAY NAGHIHINTAY PA RIN DITO HSHSH i'm sorry for ditching this story for two freaking months. i lost motivation and stuff but here it is, finally! btw, this story's ending soon 🥰 2-4 chapters then epilogue, i think? hihi thank you for almost 8K reads and 600+ votes 🥺 i'll TRY updating next week saturday! mwah!