TRY . jinlia

042

This chapter's unedited.

[ CHOI LIA'S ]

I wiped the sweat falling from my forehead before fanning myself with my hands. Nandito kasi kaming gym para mag-practice ng march for our SHS graduation. I decided to attend because I'm going to give a speech since I ranked second highest in our batch, over all. Si Sojin ang first.

I really didn't want to attend our graduation since for sure magiging ma-drama iyon but this could be the last time I'm going to be with this people. Ayaw man ako ng iba, naka-initan ko man ang iba, nakasakit at nasaktan man ako ng iba, why not make the most of it?

Ryujin... I don't know. Ilang buwan na rin kaming hindi nag-uusap. I took the silence between us as the sign that it's all over.

Did I want it to work, though? Yes, because I really, really liked her. But also no at the same time because of my pride. She never listened to me, always believing what she know is right and that's frustrating, I swear.

Ang gusto ko lang naman ay madinig. Ang pakinggan niya ako. If ever I approached her first, if ever I swallowed my pride and talked to her, we could try again and make it work but I think it's too late for regrets now. I've made up my mind.

I'm going to leave this small town and study veterinary in the city. It's going to be a new beginning.

I've always been afraid of change but I thought deeply to it and realized---there's nothing wrong with changing. It helps you know better and grow as an individual. Besides, I can't always rely to my friends here.

Plus Papa's getting old. I want him to get out of this small town and meet new people. Baka sa syudad ay makahanap pa siya ng love life.

It's not that I want him to marry again just to forget my Mother... I just want to see him happy. Alam niyo 'yon? I know he's contented with having only me but I wanna see how love affects his happiness. I want to see him smile again like those smiles he has on the pictures of him and Mom.

And Mom... of course she'll always be in our hearts. She's both our first love, after all.

I sighed. A lot really happened with just a few months passing by.

I've decided to grow, forgive myself, meet the standards I have for myself before going out in the reals again. I'm just hoping I could do it. I can, right?

"Liaaaa~"

Natigil ako sa pag-iisip nang yumakap sa bewang ko si Aecha bigla. Umayos ako ng tayo at umirap ng paloko.

"Break time na, hindi mo ba narinig?" si Sojin na nakatayo sa harapan ko.

My brows shot up before roaming my eyes inside the gym at nakitang nagsisilabasan na nga ang lahat. Huminga ako ng malalim at niyakap sa braso si Aecha.

"Hindi ko namalayan," sagot ko.

Sojin sighed with a small smirk on her lips. "Alam mo, Lia, huwag ka nang masyado mag-isip. Last day na! Let's make the most of it! Tara, libutin natin yung buong campus for the l-last time!"

Tumango-tango si Aecha sa ilalim ng dibdib ko.

Ngumiti ako at tinawanan si Sojin na konti nalang yata'y iiyak na. She's been like this for the past few days, crying while complaining about leaving this University. She wanted to stay here and study Engineering but she passed the exams in her long time dream school.

"Iiyak ka nanaman! Loka ka talaga," tumawa ako bago hinila patungo sa gate si Aecha dahil nakayakap pa rin kami sa isa't isa. "Tara!"

Tumawa ako nang mahina akong binatukan ni Sojin bago naglakad sa tabi namin ni Aecha.

I took a deep breath before roaming my eyes around the gym for the last time while Aecha and Sojin bickered beside me.

Tumaas ang mga kilay ko nang makita si Ryujin at Yeji, magkahawak-kamay sa ilalim ng bleachers. I looked at Ryujin for the last time. Her hair's the same now but blonde. She looks fine and by that only, I'm happy.

Does it hurt? Yes but I'm used to it. Araw-araw ko ba naman siyang makita kasama si Yeji? Charot. I sound bitter. It's true, though.

Umiwas nalang ako ng tingin at nakitawa kina Sojin papalabas ng gym.

[ THIRD PERSON'S ]

Nakangiting kumunot ang noo ni Yeji nang hilain siya ni Ryujin sa ilalim ng bleachers.

"Why? Hindi ba tayo sasama kina Chaer? Aren't you hungry kasi I'm hungry na," usal nito.

Ryujin bit her lower-lip, looking down at Yeji's converse. Napansin naman ni Yeji ang pagkakatahimik ng babae, dahilan para mawala ang mga ngiti sa labi niya.

"Ryu..." she called.

The blonde took a deep breath. "Yeji, ayaw ko na."

Yeji's mouth went agape for a moment before stiffling a fake laugh. Mukhang may ideya na siya kung ano ang ibig sabihin ni Ryujin pero hindi niya pinansin iyon at sinubukang hilain ulit paalis doon si Ryujin pero hindi nagpatinag ang babae.

She took a deep breath before taking her hand off of Ryujin. "What do you mean?" 

Still, Ryujin didn't look up. "Whatever we are in your head, ayaw ko na. Yeji, please just let me go..." this time, she looked up and met Yeji's eyes. "I... I can't love you the same way anymore."

Tears started to fall from Yeji's eyes but she ignored it. "Didn't you promise you'll try again?" she asked the blonde with gritted teeth.

"Alam mong wala akong pinangako. The moment you asked me that, hindi ako sumagot!" ani Ryujin na may luha na rin sa gilid ng mga mata.

"Gano'n na rin 'yon! Silence means yes!"

Umiling si Ryujin. "You know it's not like that. You're smarter than this," matigas na tanggi pa rin nito.

Kumirot lalo ang dibdib ni Yeji dahil doon. It's true. It's not always 'silence means yes' and that she's smarter than this. But what can she do? She loves Ryujin so much she'll do anything just not for her to leave.

But isn't that too selfish? Nakangiti man si Ryujin tuwing kasama siya, alam niyang hindi iyon tulad ng dati. She wants her old Ryujin back and in order for that to happen, she has to let her go. Kaya niya kaya? Mukang hindi yata.

Yeji took a deep breath before gathering all the strength to wipe her tears. "She really had to take you away from me, huh? Fine."

Before Ryujin could even react, she left her alone speechless and surprised with her own heart shattering for the nth time.

Shin Ryujin... I'll get back to you soon.