alone, together.

[33] home

song:
sleep thru ur alarms - lontalius

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chapter 33: home
tw! suicidal thoughts, self harm, gore, depression

"That one looks like a dog."

"You're right! Oh, and that one, to the right, looks like an apple!"

"Where?...I see it too!"

The sun was so warm, caressing the fresh cuts and bruises on my sickly skin.

We laughed, pretending my world wasn't falling apart.

I felt a euphoria I had never felt before.

"Hey, Caleb? Is this what love feels like?"

I turned my head to his body laying in the dry grass, sprawled out like a newborn morning glory.

"Yeah. I think it is, Mae."

Where am I?

"Please..." I whispered, "Please help me."

His guts were sitting in front of me, sprawled out like fallen leaves in autumn.

"Kill me, Dad. Dad-- Sir, please...please kill me. Please, please, please."

I couldn't feel my wrists because being bound so tight by ropes and wires, while thrashing my body back and forth, left raw and bloody rashes on my pale skin.

"Please..."

I didn't care though.

Caleb was dead, and every time I closed my eyes I saw his torn off skin, missing limbs, and maggot infested corpse.

I need to wake up.

"WHY? WHY ME? FUCK!"

I screamed such a blood-curdling scream that I began to go deaf.

The outer parts of Trost were almost always empty at night, bearing only a few souls drinking their woes away.

"PLEASE, JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE! DEAR GOD, PLEASE! PLEASE!"

I shrieked, tears playing hide and seek with my emotions once again.

Pummeling the red brick wall in front of my hunched over state, I drug my scarlet fists across the rough surface.

"I can't go on. I can't do this. I can't do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do this anymore. Please, I need relief. Please..." I whimpered, "Someone p-please save m-me...I need someone to save me...anyone."