𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙤𝙘
mae vogel is a strong, independent, and persistently stubborn girl, trying to free herself from an unforgiving past. after she joins the survey corps, she meets levi ackerman, a man who is also trying to forget his...
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chapter 12: jean
Sitting in the gloomy, stuffy dining hall of Trost's HQ, Levi, Eren, and I were waiting for the Commander and Hange to join us for a meeting...but they were exceedingly late.
I sighed and put my head down on the dark, wooden table.
Levi cleared his throat, "What's the holdup? Erwin's never late. They should be here. At this rate the damn MPs will show up first. That'd be our luck" he scoffed, taking a sip of his tea, "Yeah, who can say? Maybe they're all taking a shit. Duty calls, right?"
Eren gave him an awkward chuckle.
"You're, uh, sure in a talkative mood today."
"So what if I am? That doesn't mean I was talking to you."
I lifted my head, "Does that mean you're talking to yourself? I didn't take you like the crazy kind, Captain."
Eren tried to stifle his laughter, while Levi gave me his classic glare, taking another sip of his tea. Sighing, he shifted in his seat and winced in pain.
"It's my fault, Sir. I made the choice. If I'd have thought this through, none of this...we wouldn't..." Eren said, flustered.
"You made a judgment call" Levi gazed at him, "Look, no one expects you to be clairvoyant."
"The Captain is right, Eren, well about you anyway" I mumbled, "That's what everyone expected of me, and I couldn't do a damn thing."
Levi glanced at me, but suddenly, the large entrance doors opened, and Erwin, Hange, Mikasa, Armin, and Jean entered.
"What are you guys doing here?" Eren said, jumping up out of his seat.
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Soon enough, Erwin had given us a rundown about how we were going to capture the Female Titan in Stohess.
"We think we know the true identity of the Female Titan, Armin identified her" Erwin spat out.
I perked up at that.
"I remembered something from our recent expedition. She spared me twice, but only after she saw my face. The second time, when I looked into her eyes, she looked so familiar, and she also responded to your 'suicidal maniac' nickname, Eren" Armin explained, "...I believe she was someone in the 104 Cadet Corps."
Eren gasped, and I just looked at him wide-eyed in disbelief.
"You can't be serious? You mean, I trained with her?" Eren questioned.
"Yes," Erwin sighed, "I'm afraid she's one of us. Her name is..."
I sat on the edge of my seat.
"Annie Leonhart."
That BITCH.
"Huh? Annie? What evidence do you have?" Eren yelled, anger laced in his words.
Armin explained all the clues and confirmation he gathered, including the fact that she also likely killed Sawney and Beane.
"Do you have anything more concrete?" Levi asked.
"There's the fact that she looks like the Female Titan" Mikasa said.
Eren stood, a blazing fire glistening in his eyes.
"How are you all okay with this? You're going out on a limb here!" Eren yelled.
"No" I spoke up, "It all makes sense now. The look in her eyes she gave me...it was almost like she was saying 'I'm sorry'. Until now, I couldn't understand why she would be sympathetic, but Annie was my friend, someone I actually trusted, so her emotions make complete sense now. Also...about Marco, do we think it's just a coincidence that he and Annie were nowhere to be found when Eren was about to plug up the hole? That's a sick fucking thing to do, but there's no other reason why she would have his gear, besides the fact that she was planning on using it for a safeguard to cover up her wrongdoings. She did what she did because she had to, nothing more and nothing less. She was so distanced in the Cadet Corps because she knew from the very beginning that this is what she was destined to do, and now it's pretty fucking obvious, we're missing something huge."
"Language" Levi coughed.
Everyone looked at me and thought for a moment.
"How—?" Eren mumbled.
"Eren, don't sit there and act like none of this rings a bell" Mikasa shot out, "It's Annie. It's always been, Annie."
He finally looked like he understood, like something in him snapped.
I stood up, "I'm going to get some fresh air."
Exiting the tense room, I was honestly still in shock at the news I just received.
Annie, that's what you were hiding this whole time? That's your big secret? The late nights, the early mornings, the laughing, the crying, the whole of it all. Did our lives together not mean a thing?
I headed toward the courtyard to clear my head, sitting down on the ground with my back to the base of the stone fountain. The garden's platform was surrounded by greenery and concrete pillars, and it was especially beautiful on sunny days like this. Not long after I settled, Jean plopped down next to me. Not minding his company, we sat in comfortable silence, like how we used to back in the day.
He broke the quietness, his voice delicate, "Why him?"
"Hm...?"
"Why did it have to be him? Why not me? I know I deserved it a hell of a lot more than he did, so why him? Why is this world so fucking cruel?"
He looked like he was on the verge of crying.
"Jean, first of all, you don't deserve death, you never have and you never will. It could've been any of us, but Marco was just the brave, unlucky soul who took the bullet. He didn't deserve it, no, but that doesn't mean his death was meaningless. Don't blame yourself, thinking that you could've saved him or done something differently because that's not how life works. Marco died so that we could live on, so we could figure out this whole mess and put an end to it. I'm sure wherever he is now, he's smiling knowing we're closer to the truth because of his sacrifice. It's okay to cry and be upset but live for both of you now. Live for the fact that he can't anymore. That's what he would want, you and I both know that."
Tears were now slowly streaming down Jean's face. I pulled his head toward me so he could cry into my shoulder, and I gently stroked his caramel-colored hair while he calmed down.
"I love you so much, Mae" he uttered into my shirt, "Thank you for everything. Please...please don't ever leave me."
Damnit, my poor, cold bitch heart is aching for him.
"I love you too, Jean, so much, and I will never, ever leave you. You can't get rid of me that easily" I sighed softly.
Jean sat his head in my lap and laid down, closing his eyes. A few minutes had passed, and I could tell he was already fast asleep. Noticing the sun was still high on the horizon, I decided to make myself comfortable, too. Jean never took short naps, so I figured we were going to be here a while. I gradually closed my fluttering eyelids, letting the warm daylight engulf me, falling into a peaceful sleep.
