Friend or lover? (Saku x Kashi x Sasu)

Trust me- Part 32

He gently takes both her arms and holds them up in between the two of them. "Do you fucking see this?? You're telling me you are still willing to try and patch things up with someone who did this to you...?? You're being stupid." He had to let some of his anger out...he couldn't take it anymore. Not wanting to look at her now purple wrists, she tries to put down her arms as she felt the tears start coming, but he didn't let go of her. "I don't understand you. Please... help me Sakura. I can't....I don't know what to do..." He lets her go as he turns his head to the side, leaning the side of his fist onto his forehead and closing his eyes, desperately trying to keep himself together. No one has ever made him feel this....incapable before. He has everything... and yet...has no power at the moment to make this all better.

Putting her hand softly on his cheek to turn him back to look at her, she says softly, "Kashi...I...I don't have many people left in my life. And he's...someone who has been there for me for a long time. This is all just a mistake, he made a mistake...okay? Are we not allowed to forgive someone for their wrong doing?"

Hearing her preach this way, it shocked him how her mind worked, how good her heart really was. It also made him think how vulnerable this made her in the real world. He shakes his head at her. "I don't know. This is all....we're not children anymore. Making a mistake as an adult has consequences and he has to pay for them."

"Yes...I know. But...please...let me handle this the way I want. I can't have him beating himself up over this, without him knowing I'm okay-"

"But you're not okay." They stare at each other in silence. "Instead of worrying about the person who caused all this mental breakdown...you need to help yourself first. I think....I think I need to take you to see someone...".

She exhales through her nostrils in frustration and looks away from him. 'First it was Ino...now him...I don't need to talk to anybody! I just want to talk to-' "Again...you're not listening to me..."

"Oh I am. I'm hearing every word perfectly. I may not be a doctor, or a professional psychologist, but I know when someone needs help...and when someone is being stubborn and lying to themselves." She tries to pop off the island, but he doesn't allow her to leave. "Don't act this way...you're a grown woman, and you need to address these things the way they come. It's already bad enough that hes in the comfort of his home instead of sitting in a cell. You can't...you can't treat him like a child..".

"I can treat him like I want!!! You got that?! I'm tired of you talking to me like I don't know what I'm talking about!!" she yells at him, losing her mind. He's never heard her voice this way...so angry, so confused...in dire need of help. He right away holds her as she struggles to get him off of her. "Let go of me!!" She pushes him, pounds on his chest, hits the sides of his ribs over and over, attempts to kick him. Every hit she took made him that much more sure that she was screaming for help. "Let go of me..." she says weakly as she slowly, but quietly begins to weep. Her weeps soon turn into cries, and not much time passes until...she loses it. He doesn't dare let her go as she lets out everything that was built up, everything that she was desperately trying not to take her over. Her arms folded into her chest, leaning into him, she asks the question that she knew couldn't be answered except by one person. "Why?...why did he do that to me...?" she quietly cries. "Why did he have to ruin what we had for so long?...it wasn't suppose to be this way...!". she cries in anger.

As he holds her, he does his best to keep his own tears back. Hearing all of this broke his heart, and was very much emotionally draining to hear the woman he loves to be hurt in this way, and he himself not being able to prevent it. They stay there together for a good while until she practically cries herself to sleep on his chest. He carries her to the couch, covers her with a blanket and sits with her for a bit, gazing at her beauty...her beautiful face that was stained with dry tears. 'This is...such a nightmare. What good am I...if I couldn't even protect her from someone close to her?...What the hell am I doing? Just playing house? Just buying her love?'