Heart Pangs

Chapter 14 - Lux

Felix's senior year of high school feels... empty.

His parents never question him too deeply on Benji's sudden absence from his life. They ask him several times if he's interested in consuming legally, but he always manages to to come up with an excuse.

Although, for the week after regurgitating Benji, he does seriously consider saying yes. He's desperate to get rid of the painful pangs of hunger stabbing at his stomach. But he knows, once he has his prey, the relief will only be temporary, and then it will come back even worse than before.

So instead, he resists the urges and eats normal food in an attempt to curb his hunger. By the time, school starts again, miraculously, he feels almost normal again.

Almost.

Turns out, despite everything, he really wishes he could see Benji again. Not only to make their last memory together a better one, but also to just simply be around him.

But he refrains. He knows the emptiness he feels isn't just from a lack of having Benij around him, it's from a lack of having Benji inside him as well. Felix is sure that, although he nearly feels normal again, seeing Benji will put an end to that.

So he makes it through high school with his newfound emptiness. Then he makes it through graduation. And then he makes it through summer, even though he wants so badly to see Benji one last time before college starts.

Before he knows it, he's in college. A new place full of new faces. And, apparently, full of new experiences.

It's a nice school, much bigger than Felix is used to. It's also co-ed, which means, for the first time since he was a kid, he's sharing spaces with prey again.

It makes him nervous at first. It had been so difficult being around Benji, and that was only one prey. But it turns out, being around strange prey doesn't have the same effect on him. Yes, of course, he often daydreams what the pretty prey girl who sits across from him in sociology would feel like sliding down his throat, but he doesn't have a problem controlling himself around her.

He wonders why it had been so different for Benji.

For the first few weeks of classes, Felix is fully ready to go through his entire college career only able to fantasize about consuming his new classmates. He knows he can't risk a repeat of his last two experiences with consuming. He's legally an adult now, and if he ever gets caught doing something like that again, he'll likely be arrested and definitely be charged.

But the first time he's invited to a party and one of his pred friends passes him a few white pills, he learns that things don't always have to be like that.

"What are these?" Felix asks, turning the pills over in his palms.

"They're neutralizers," the friend says with a grin. "You'll want them if you get lucky tonight."

"Neutralizers?" Felix repeats. The word is familiar, but his brain is already foggy from pre-gaming and he's still distracted from rolling the pills between his fingers.

"Yeah, you know," the friend continues, sounding like he's talking to a child. "For neutralizing stomach acids? So you can consume?'

"Consume?" Felix repeats again, this time his attention snaps directly to his friend.

The friend rolls his eyes. "Did you smoke before you came here?"

"What? No, I just— wasn't expecting this."

Felix had almost forgotten there were ways to consume safely. Was it really that easy? Just swallowing some pills and he could consume again?

"So what do you do exactly?"