Heart Pangs

Chapter 42 - Just A Mistake

"You should have let me done it," Felix mutters.

"Felix, please," Benji says into his hands. "Not right now."

Behind Benji's closed eyes, his mind plays on repeat images he still can't believe. McMullen sitting in the shadows, waiting for his return. The way Felix's eyes lit up when he realized who he was looking at. Felix's hands wrapped around McMullen's throat, their faces dangerously close to one another's....

Benji's heart skips a beat. He feels like he's just witnessed a side of Felix he wasn't meant to see.

The sound of Felix walking across the floor draws Benji from his reverie. He peeks between his fingers and finds Felix peering out the front window.

"He's already gone," Felix announces.

Benji drops his hands from his face entirely. "What were you hoping for?"

Felix draws away from the window and beings pacing restlessly about the room. "If I could see where he went, maybe I could tail him."

"That wouldn't have been a good idea," Benji tells him.

Felix frowns but doesn't argue.

"If you had just... gone to your Epomis work like you were supposed to," Felix goes on, his pacing growing more hurried. "If you hadn't insisted on coming with me this morning."

"Are you trying to blame this on me?" Benji asks incredulously.

"No, of course not," Felix answers, almost dismissively. "I just... I just..." He stops mid-pace and turns to Benji. "I just don't know how to fix this."

Benji lets out a quiet sigh. He very much doesn't know how to fix this either. But he also very much doesn't want to think about it at all.

He stands. "I'm going to put the groceries away."

Felix gives him an odd look. "Right now?"

"Yes." Benji crosses the room and picks up the bags where he left them by the door. "I need time to think. Alone."

"Very well," Felix answers as he watches Benji go down the hall and to the kitchen.

Benji shoves food onto shelves in a daze. It's harder than he expects. The size of the boxes and cans are meant for preds and thus aren't proportional to the cupboards of Camille's house, but Benji doesn't mind. It just gives him something else to focus on, to take his mind off the rising panic within him.

All too soon, the only thing that's left is the bottle of whiskey. Benji heaves it out and looks it over. He's not sure where he should put it. He half considers drinking some right now. If there's any time he might need a drink, it would be now. But he decides against it. He's sure he'll need to be functioning at full capacity for the next few hours as he figures out what to do.

He tucks the bottle as far back as it will go in the cupboard that they use the least. He doesn't want Camille stumbling upon it and asking questions. Just as he's closing the cabinet, he hears someone wrench open the front door.

Benji leaps to his feet and sprints to the front of the house, fearing the worst.

Standing in the doorway is Camille. Her hair is wind blown, her cheeks are flushed, and she's out of breath.

Her eyes widen when she sees Benji. "Oh my god," she gasps and runs to throw her arms around him.

Benji's arms envelope her in turn, albeit with a little confusion. "I thought you wouldn't be home for hours?" he says as he pulls away.

"I wasn't," Camille answers, breathless. "But then I heard that you never showed up for work, and then McMullen left early. I asked around and someone said he had left to go check on you. I knew Felix was here," she throws a sidelong glance at him, "so I rushed over here as soon as I could to warn you."