Heart Pangs

Chapter 10 - A Single Condition

Felix opens his eyes. He feels strange, sore and sluggish, although he doesn't know why. He tries to roll over then stops as a foreign weight impedes him. His hand flies to his belly and everything comes rushing back.

Did he do it? Is it all over? He sits up, suddenly wide awake. At the sudden change, there's a flurry of movement from within him. Felix didn't know he could feel any worse.

He didn't do it.

Felix buries his face in his hands. What is he supposed to do now?

Before he can think, he's pushing himself to his feet. He wobbles when he stands, forgetting how to balance the extra weight, forgetting how much it hurts. Then he's grabbing a change of clothes and going into his bathroom. He feels dirty and he needs to think. He knows what he needs to do.

He stops when he sees himself in the mirror. He hasn't done that yet, he realizes. He hasn't looked at himself. He watches his reflection touch a hand to his belly. It looks unreal, monstrous, but also somewhat nice, attractive even.

Felix turns away with a grimace. What is he thinking?

He turns the shower on as hot as he can stand and lets it run down his skin. He wonders if his prey can feel it too.

His prey. What is he going to do about his prey? The whole point of falling asleep was so he wouldn't have to feel his prey digesting. That didn't work, and now he wants even less to spend the rest of his day, pretending everything is normal while his body slowly kills an innocent man.

For a wild moment, Felix thinks maybe he can just release the man, get rid of the problem entirely. But there's the risk of being reported. And his parents, what would they say? His mother had been so excited. Surely she and his father would be disappointed in him if he didn't do it, maybe even mad. Felix can't bear the thought of it.

But doing nothing isn't an option. Looking in the mirror has just proven that Felix can't hide his prey. Going out in public like this would be just as bad for Felix as letting the prey man go. Maybe even worse.

Felix steps out of the shower, towels off, then dresses, although the doesn't bother with a shirt. He doesn't have clothing made for consuming, though he's sure his father will insist on changing that after all this.

He sits on the closed toilet, one hand on his belly, feeling like he's figured nothing out.

He wonders what the prey man has been thinking for all of this. Probably confused as to why he's still alive, Felix thinks. He's been in there for over twelve hours now. Most likely he's more than uncomfortable. He's probably hungry, Felix thinks offhand. The idea of hunger suddenly seems so distant to him. He hasn't felt hunger since consuming the man, Felix realizes with a start. He doesn't remember the last time he didn't feel hungry.

He suddenly feels much worse for the prey man. Felix knows what it's like to be hungry and confused. He wouldn't wish that upon anyone else.

He straightens. But what if he does? What if he just... let's the man die of natural causes. Then digesting him wouldn't feel so terrible.

Felix is disgusted by himself and dismisses the thought as soon as he has it. Sure, digesting something that wasn't alive would make him feel better, but it would take days for the man to die on his own and Felix would be privy to each twitch of pain and struggle of protest during those passing days. Not only that, but he knows from health class that it's not great for a pred to have deceased prey in their belly. Besides, he's already sick of having to deal with his prey. He wants a solution that will get rid of him as soon as possible.

Felix glances at the bathtub, still coated in droplets from his shower. There is one way, he realizes, to get rid of his prey immediately.

He stands before he realizes what he's doing. This is exactly the method he's been holding back on. The one that he's decided is too risky. But he's getting desperate. At this point, he almost would rather deal with the fallout than continue like this.