Heart Pangs

Chapter 61 - The Core

Being within Felix is both exactly how Benji remembers and yet not at all.

The first time had been... unbelievable. It had been unexpected. It had been frantic and terrifying. Benji had been forced inside the deepest core of his best friend, and he hadn't been sure if he'd ever make it out again.

This time, he knows he's not making it out.

From the moment Benji's toes had been forced past the back of Felix's throat, from the moment his knees had been shoved into his chest, from the moment Benji had become completely encapsulated, he knew things were different. The first time, he could feel the uncertainty, the curiosity of Fellix's stomach walls kneading gently against him. Now those same walls flex with gleeful anticipation. Benji's presence is nothing new to Felix's stomach. The organ knows exactly what he is and where his place is.

Felix's stomach is obscenely strong. It squeezes Benji from all sides. It's overwhelming. It's suffocating. The very air burns his lungs, yet Benji can't stop gasping for breath.

He squeezes his eyes shut, both to spare them from the sting of acid and to calm himself. There's no room for panic in here. Struggling or fighting back is useless. He's in the stomach of Lux Feuerbach. If the Facility's most powerful pred wants him here, then here is where he will stay. And Felix is starving. There's no way he wouldn't want Benji here.

Somewhere, amidst all the darkness and panic, a memory resurfaces. Lenora coming to fetch Benji from his cell. Lenora returning his personal belongings. The pred extending a single hand, and in her palm, lays Benji's knife, cold and deadly as always.

Lenora had given it to him without a word. And Benji had taken it likewise.

And still he has it. Tucked away in his pocket.

Benji summons what little energy he has left to push back against the unforgiving walls of Felix's stomach and manages to shove a hand into his pocket. Just as he pulls his knife free, his world shifts.

He stiffens and braces himself as Felix moves about for a few moments before once more settling into stillness. Benji stays tense, just in case he moves again, but there's nothing. Benji breathes the closest thing to a sigh of relief that he can get in this prison.

Then he flips his knife open. The sound is hard and metallic amidst the rhythmic and organic noises of Felix. Benji clutches it with both hands, trying to fortify himself. He's not sure how to do this. He's not even sure if he can do this. Months of Oscar training him for just this scenario suddenly feel meaningless. Nothing could have prepared him for all the emotions coursing through him at this moment.

Felix is all around him, surrounding him entirely. Exposed. Benji tries to imagine the feeling of sliding a knife into his oldest friend. He wonders if it would be difficult to cut his way out. He tries to imagine Felix bleeding out on the forest floor while Benji watches on helplessly, knowing he caused this. He wonders if Felix would hate him for it.

If Benji did this, he'd be killing Felix.

There a little voice of reason, whispering in the back of his mind.

"It's either you or him," it says. "At least this would be quick for him. At least you'd only be doing it out of necessity. Your 'friend' would rather condemn you to a slow and torturous death, if only for his own pleasure. This is your survival."

Benji grits his teeth.

But Felix had been dying. That hadn't been for show. He'd well and truly been falling apart. Consuming Benji had been as much about survival as anything.

Suddenly, there is a light pressure running over Benji from all around. It's delicate and deliberate. It's reverent and curious. And it comes to a stop right at his shoulder. Benji holds his breath as he feels a gentle stroke right at the tip of a shoulder.