Euphoric Feeling

Chapter 15

Kathyrn's

Simula nung pumunta si Matthew sa classroom namin ay di na ako pinapansin ni Yrra.

I don't know what's with her, bigla-bigla nlng nya akong iniiwasan, reason kung bakit hindi ako masyadong kumakain, di kumikibo at talagang walang gana sa lahat ng bagay. My friends started to get worry about me, they even asked if me and Villanueva had some quarrel, but I didn't respond at all.

Matthew is my childhood friend at tinuturing ko na talaga sya na kapatid kaya para akong na excite nung nakita ko sya, pumunta kasi sila ni tito sa states and It was 1 year and months after the last time we saw each other, pero one day he confessed he's love to me and I don't even know what to do or react, rather.

He's courting me now, and I even told him to quit what he's doing, because I can only give him friendship, and that's all.

Alam kong napapansin na rin ni Matthew yung mga kinikilos ko, kaya he keeps on asking me if I'm okay and questioned me if I am hiding something from him. 

Unti-unti ko na ring nakikita ang iba niyang ugali. Minsan magagalit sya sakin dahil daw di ko sya kinikibo, muntik na nga nya akong mabuhatan ng kamay eh but good thing, mark was there and was about to punch Matt ng pinigilan ko na. 

I don't want to gain another chaos, prinoproblema ko pa si Villanueva.

I really felt lonely this pass few days, yung tipong hinahanap ko yung away namin, yung sagutan and especially her.

those eyes

that sweet smile of hers, hers

and her lips, which can only drive me insane.

ughh I really miss her.

I tried to reach for her pero sya talaga ang umiiwas, that's why I stopped reaching for her attention.

Days have passed and because of that, I just realized what I really feel about her.

yung saya kapag kasama ko sya,

butterflies I felt in my stomach,

kuryenteng dumadaloy sa aking buong pagkatao, sa tuwing magdadampi ang aming mga balat,

and yung selos na nararamdaman ko when she smiles brightly to others, pero pagdating sakin, parang binagsakan ng langit and lupa. 

I thought nga may namamagitan sakanila ni Jules, the captain of Volleyball team. Kung makatitig kasi tagos sa kaluluwa. Pero si Abby pala ang tipo. hmppp mabuti naman

hindi ko inaasahang mababaliko nya ako, but who can't be? sa ganda niyang yun, sinong hindi maa-attract sa kanya? 

and yes, I admit it

I like her.

~~~

Here I am in front of her confessing my feelings towards her. After I confessed, I saw how her eyes sparkles and at the same time pain?

shet what did I do?

did I said something can hurt her feelings???

I'm starting to panic and was about to reach for her hand ng nilagpasan nya ako at nakita ko pang may tumulong luha sa kanyang mga mata.

I don't know what do I look like right now.

Naramdaman ko nlng na nakaupo na ako sa sahig at kumikirot ang aking dibdib na parang sinusuntok ng napakalakas.

Para akong nawalan ng hininga sa kanyang ginawa.

I feel numb.

I want to scream pero para akong naubusan ng lakas para sumigaw.

I want to get rid of this world.

Ngayon lng ako nakaranas ng rejection from others and now, I really know what it feels like especially when you experience it with the person you just like.

I didn't expect it would be this painful.

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