Euphoric Feeling

Chapter 24

Kathryn's

5 years later...

It's been five years and here I am, looking at the beauteous scene but drowned with my thoughts.

'tama ba yung ginawa ko?'

'okay lng ba sya?'

'galit kaya sya sakin?'

Yan ang tanong na paulit-ulit na nagrereplay sa aking utak.

I am also hurting so much pero alam kong may kasalanan din ako since nagpadala ako sa aking nararamdaman and left her naked in that bed without saying a word but at least I left a letter.

Wala na akong balita tungkol sakanya and I am sure nakahanap na sya ng taong para sakanya.

I sigh at naramdaman ang pagtulo ng aking luha na agad ko namang pinunasan.

"you have to be strong Kath" me trying to convince myself.

Alam kong nagtataka na sila kung saan ako ngayon, I'm here sa States, dito ko naisipang mamuhay but decided to continue my studies here at pinakausapan ko na rin ang parents at mga kaibigan ko na wag sabihin sa iba lalong lalo na kay Yrra about my location.

I want to start a fresh and new life without her dahil walang gabi na hindi ako umiiyak, minsan nga nawawala ako sa aking sarili at puro sya lng ang nasa isip ko pati sa dibdib ko.

haysss ang hirap magmahal, especially in this cruel and arrogant world that we have. 

I graduated at ako na din ang nagmamanage ng business namin dito sa States but dad said I will handle the bigger ones like in the Philippines and I know darating ang panahon na uuwi ako doon.

Maraming nagbago, particularly my appearance. My features become mature and hindi ako masyadong umiimik pero napakadali kong mapikon.

Pero ang nararamdaman ko para sakanya hindi nagbago at mas lalo lamang lumala pa.

"arghhhhhhhh" now i'm frustrated.

how can I get rid of her?

Napahinto ako sa aking iniisip ng kumatok ang aking secretary.    

"uhmm excuse me maam, tumatawag po yung dad nyo" she said as she handed the phone to me and smiled at her.

"hey dad" boring kong bati dito.

"awful day?" alam kong nang-aasar toh.

"what do you want?" I asked instead of answering his question.

"hay nko Kath just chil--"

"dad please be direct to the point already marami akong ginagaw--"

"you're coming back here" at sya naman ang pumutol sa akin.

"what!?" hindi ako makapaniwala because like no as in no way.

"dad n-no marami akong ginagawa at t-tsaka uuwi ako diyan if I want to" 

"no Kath you have to"

"ehhhhh daddy naman eh" para akong batang nagmamaktol ngayon habang nakatingin sa aking secretary na pinipigilang matawa.

"you have to kath, it's either you like or you like it" he sternly said at hanged up the call.

"ughhhhhhhhhh I hate you all" at tsaka inihiga ko ang aking ulo sa desk.

"tsk tsk bat di ka nlng kasi umuwi? maybe now is the right time Kath" sabi ng secretary ko habang nakatingin sa akin.

Matagal na syang nagtatrabaho dito at higit sya sa pinakainaasahang tao ni dad because of her loyalty and diligent works. 

She's tita Sandra, yes tita ang tawag ko sakanya basta kami lng ang nag-uusap or like casual.

"alam mo Kath..." she paused at nilapitan ako.

"I keep on saying this pero nandito parin ako para ipaalala sayo ulit na mahal ka niya okay? di mo ba nararamdaman yun nung magkasama kayo? or that night? the night that you both gave yourselves to each other?" she said at naghihintay sa aking sagot. 

She knows sa mga pinagdadaanan ko since comfortable ako sakanya and she has a wife, a beautiful one na parang diyosang bumaba sa kalangitan.

"ganyan din ang dinanas namin ni Lilian but we did not gave up and look kung saan kami napunta ngayon?" she added. I can see how she loves her wife by seeing her eyes, the way it sparkles whenever she's with her.

I'm envious

At inisip ang mga mangyayari kong magkikita kami ulit.

"if that's true, what if she loves someone else right now?" I asked ng nakangiwi pero para akong tinutusok sa aking dibdib by that thought.

"that's why you have to go back para malaman mo, pero if meron na nga ipaglaban mo naman sya" she said and smiled at me genuinely.

yeah I should fight for her dahil hindi ko pa sya naipaglaban noon and maybe this is the right time to do it.

"yeah I-I think I sh-should" pero bat ako kinakabahan.

"embrace yourself at magprepare kana bago ka pa sermunan ng tatay mo" she laughed at bumalik sakanyang pwesto.

"thank you tita!" I shouted and smiled at me with her thumbs up.

Wala akong sinayang na oras at agad nagpunta sa bahay para makapag-impake.

fugde sana tama tong ginagawa ko.

"just wait for me, Villanueva" I murmured.

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