Bastard

2.2.21

     I made myself a promise today.

   I hope to keep said promise.

   I won't mention it bcuz it's a promise to myself, a promise I really need to fufill.

    I call all of my power back into myself. All the power I've wasted. All the power I lent. All the power I spent.

   What I'm not gonna do is go back and forth and be used for selfish reasons. I'm not just here to be at one's beck and call for sport.

     I am a person and I have feelings too goddamn it. No matter my past or previous circumstances. My upbringing and bleeding heart does not give you permission to fuck with my head, my heart, my mind, my soul, my family.

     I apologize for any and all wrong I've done. I apologize wholeheartedly. I better myself from the mistakes I've made in upsetting you.

    I am trying to be a better man. I am focused on being the best father I can be. My mind needs to be mine in order to do so.

   Even tho I'm not with any of the mothers of my children, I vow to take care of them no matter what. I don't care what they do with it.

    My children shall want for nothing. I know that much. I hope and pray that things can always be smooth between their mothers and I, that they'll never use my children against me. I will never speak ill of their mothers and will always do whatever's needed of me.

     I will honor the elders and pay strict heed.

    I will try to stop being so hard on myself,