Bastard

5/13/21

    A pleasant day to all🌹

    What woke me up this morning was a call from Semaj. She sounded very excited, as Damiana has said her first word: Dada.

  I started crying. At first I expected to hear she'd called her husband that, but Semaj told me she was showing Damiana a picture of me she has on her tablet and the little monkey started laughing at it and tapping the screen, saying Dada.

    I asked her to put me on speaker and I told my baby girl how happy she's made my heart today. I could hear her giggles and it made me beam with love.

    When Mona Lisa came to see me, she found me sitting down with wet eyes. She automatically asked me if I was okay, asking why the tears. She began to wipe them away, and I told her these were tears of joy, bcuz I'd just heard my lil monkey call me dada. Mona Lisa squealed in delight and hugged me tightly. I know you're a great father little brother, she told me. I begged to differ. I told her with all the shit I bring, it's just always something. I stressed my longing need to have my kids under one roof. Mona asked me how I planned on doing that, what with Taz fucking my sun.

  I know she's Bria's mom but I promise you Damien I plan on fucking her up for what she's doing to y'all and putting you thru. With all you do for her ass. I just can't see how you're still doing for her.

   I assured my sister that I only meant well. After all, it was Mother Dear who taught me how to spoil a woman and make sure she's good. Mona Lisa said shit that. I told her that I would take good care of her and my nieces when they'd come visit too. She gave me the biggest smile then, told me she couldn't wait. I need to see what your world is like. Plus, I could use the time.

   We went have breakfast with the rest, and I noticed Cotton and David seemed to be engrossed in conversation, smiles, laughter, and all. Mona saw too, and she gave me side eyes. Yeah, he can hold a conversation with everyone else but his own wife. I didn't want her to jump to conclusions but a woman knows what she knows. I told her maybe it was bcuz he's seen how much time we'd been spending together and had came here to enjoy her. She hushed me, then said no one could stop her from spending time with me, not even him. Naw, it's not that. This muthafucka won't even talk to me about the baby we lost but seems to me he's got a whole lot to say to Cotton....lemme find out! I'ma whip both they ass... this she said loud enough for them to hear.

   As soon as they realized Mona Lisa wasn't having it, they tightened up, quickly getting back to their plates. I could smell my sister's rage. Cotton looked over towards us then went back to her food, and David looked hella uncomfortable.

   My sister told me she had something to tell me, and asked if I would walk the trail with her. I immediately told her yes. The air in here was beginning to get full. Some fresh air would do us some good.

    Ruby joined Mona Lisa and I, and the three of us left for the trail. Once there, we walked and talked. I asked them if it would be okay if I smoke. They told me I didn't have to ask. Ruby the one who started. Y'all, I didn't like what I felt in there...

   Mona Lisa and I both agreed. She hit us hard with the next words that came out of her mouth. You know, it's bcuz of him I had the miscarriage...when she told us what happened, I felt bad, and sad, and angry, and my head began to hurt, my heart beat faster. She ended with saying but I don't know.

   We walked on in silence, each of us in our own world. Mona had poured her heart out to us.

  The scenery was so beautiful, and the two Queens in my presence were beautiful as well. I wanted to cheer them up some way. I asked if they wanted to go for a ride in Lucille when we'd get back. They both smiled and said yes.

   I took them shopping, then to get some barbeque.  They remembered Mother Dear's car, and tender memories. I can't believe you kept her running so well...I never told y'all but it was me who was driving when the car first started acting up...I shook my head in disbelief and laughed at her. Then it clunked out on Mother Dear at the grocery store...she had to have it drug in...she was cursing it out too😂😂😂 Goddamn no good ass car😂😂😂but she loved the Cuttty tho...I said.

    It was good to laugh.

   When we got back we parted ways to our rooms after they thanked me for the ride. David must have been looking for my sister, bcuz when he saw her he was like Bae, where you was...his ass was nervous too.

   I went to my room and lit up. I had some thinking to do. I wanted to help my sister. I would find out if she had something to worry about or not. And I would be doing it the only way I knew how, which meant I would probably end up doing something I kind of swore I wouldn't. 

   I tied my heart and went knock on Cotton's door. When she opened up and saw me there she was surprised to say the least. She let me in, watching me close.

   Now, I love my sisters. I really do. And I would do anything for them. Even things I said I wouldn't. I needed answers only Cotton could give me, so I had to act accordingly.

   It's like she knew I had questions. I could sense her going into defensive mode but she soon dropped those guards and all reserve when I went in closer. Cotton was basically trembling.

   I figured to change my approach, and asked her if she would like to join me in the hot tub. I told her it was finally quiet out and everyone would probably be resting up for the night's festivities, so we would be able to be alone and talk. She agreed to meet me there.

   I went change into my shorts and grabbed a towel. I made it there before her and got inside. I had to keep a cool head. I was on a mission.

  I heard her coming. Cotton walked in wearing a blueish green bikini under a cover up. She had wrapped her short style with a scarf and was looking very pretty, reminiscent of her younger self.
She smiled at me and said hi, then removed her cover up. When she got in the tub her movements got a rise out of me I must admit.

  A cop, of all people. Yet, I couldn't judge her for her commitment to her job. Twas her calling. Her path. I let that realization soften me, and I prepared to get her to talk.

  She was sitting across from me, and I asked her why so far. She moved closer and I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her onto me. Cotton was breathless. She looked me in my eyes, searching for her own answers. I had to be careful with my plan.

   To sum it all up, I got the answers I sought.