Bastard

idgaf

    Greetings to anyone still here.

    Mayne, it's been a helluva past few days and I really enjoyed having my daughter Bria here. We were making so much progress. She's even started calling me dada and giving me such big hugs and kisses. Why her momma wanted to halt our progression as father and daughter, especially now, I just don't know.

    Taz knows I've been wanting more time with our child. She knows this bcuz I'm constantly begging her.

   The time I just spent with my Bria Athena brought me so much joy. I mean, I thank Goddess it was me she called dada instead of her big brother. I was afraid she'd get confused, what with her mother carrying out a relationship with him. But my little monkey knows who daddy is, and I'm grateful.

   When I returned my baby girl home to her mother, she cried for a while, not wanting me to put her down. It broke my heart to say the least, bcuz I didn't want her to go neither. But Taz is just a real piece of work. She enjoys my pain. She enjoys seeing me cry over my daughter.

   Taz is really in her feelings bcuz Semaj is pregnant. She tried to act nonchalant but the truth came out. She had the nerve to fix her mouth and tell me that now that I had another baby on the way, I'd forget about Bria. I told her she was out of her fucking mind. Didn't she realize I was only bringing her home bcuz she said she was lonely for Bria? I had planned on keeping her much longer, as in the whole summer.

   I've been saving all I can, separate from the funds I use to pay their bills and whatnot. I have enough saved up to continue the support, as well as to take some time off to bond with all of my kids. I could never forget about my firstborn daughter. Taz pissed me off with that shit, for real tho. She talks such crazy shit. She seen she pissed me off too. Mission accomplished.

   I told her I should take Bria again, just for her dumb shit. Taz got real wound up, talking about she wasn't going to let me have her again unless I gave her some. I asked her what the fuck was she playing at; I told her she can't play these games with my sun. He already hated me bcuz of a relationship we both had with someone, and he was finally coming around to being my sun again. I accepted the fact that he was living with her, having sexual relations with the mother of his baby sister, a woman who claimed to love me, a woman who likes to use my child as a way for me to sleep with her. I refuse to hurt my sun, or her for that matter. I know I can be a lot, and I guess I kinda understand why she felt she had to use my sun to get back at me, but I feel like she's not totally grasping what she's doing to the both of us.

   I do care for Marie. I do. At one point I thought I could love her even. But obviously we still have sexual chemistry and I'll be honest when I say she gives me a hard time. But I tried being with her before and she showed me a side I'd rather not deal with. I hate how she uses our daughter as a way of entrapment. Taz tries to seduce me every chance she gets, even if she still has my sun wrapped around her ass.

   Taz knows I'll do anything to have time with Bria, and she's stated her demands. If I want our daughter more, I have to give her more. She's doing this bcuz she knows I'm with Semaj, and now I'm stuck in a fucked up situation. I need my daughter with me more. I enjoyed Bria so much this time around. I was actually changing my mind about Taz, thankful and grateful to her for allowing me to keep Bria with me. But now she is after causing trouble, bcuz she knows Semaj will find out.

   As for my beloved, she should know by now that I cut for her. I love her. I love my children as well. Bria just started calling me dada. We were all having so much fun together. Bria has grown on Semaj, and she sees how hurt I am not to have her here.

   The both of us have decided to take our relationship to the next level, officially, and I know it's going to bring a lot of happiness to my life, but it's also going to bring a lot of dark days, for Taz and Shantrelle will hate me. I can't have that. I can't have the mothers of my children hating me, but when will I be allowed some happiness?

   Semaj has told me the most outrageous shit ever. She told me she is giving me a pass, a pass to sow all my wild oats before we say I do. She's given me permission to indulge in any woman I choose to, including my other children's mother's. I can not understand why she is telling me this, when it's her I want, when it's her I've chosen. She told me that she can sense Taz is going to be a problem, and that I should just give her what she wants to secure being able to have Bria when I'd like. Semaj is obviously high when she says this shit to me.

   I hope she isn't giving up on me. I need Semaj to know that I mean what I say, and it's her I want to spend the rest of my days with. I don't know how to feel about her giving me a pass. I don't want no pass. I don't want to be sleeping with all kinds of women again. I want her. Only her. But she feels if I go ahead and do me, by the time we get to our wedding I'll have it all out of my system, my sickness and addiction that is. I told her she wasn't making any sense. She is my addiction. I'm addicted to her.

  But Semaj isn't daft. She feels me, feels everything to do with me. She's foretelling of Taz cutting up, and said she knows Taz will still try to get with me, and that she knows Shantrelle still loves me.

   Speaking of Shantrelle, when I went drop her some cash, she had a lot to say. She obviously knows about the pregnancy as well, and I'm wondering if Daenarick told her. Shantrelle had a lot to tell me involving tears and I felt like shit. I tried to make her understand that I need to resolve, to finally live my life. I assured her that I would still take care of her needs as well as our sun's. But Shantrelle went ballistic.

   Mayne, I just don't give a fuck anymore. I'm tired of feeling like I'm doing something wrong by being with the woman I love. And I'm tired of her giving me this pass, giving me away to women. Semaj knows damned well she's gonna be in her feelings should I do this. I told her this truth and fact to her face. I asked her why the sudden change of heart. She said twas no change of heart; she is full with everyone else's feelings. She said it best I give them what they want then keep it pushing.

   I told her she was making no sense to me.

   Any, no, every woman I've ever had physical sex with has acted a fool at one point or other, and the women I've had astral sex with have had their share of pain. What makes Semaj think I can just slide my dick into these women again without any consequences? Without any drama? I told her I surely hoped she wasn't letting stalker girl get to her. Semaj made me bring her to KOK to confront the chic, and I knew it would be trouble, but she said if I didn't bring her she was going on her own.

  The girl's name is Delisha Ward, and she is a cashier at a wing joint. Semaj went in there and told the chic that enough was enough and if she disrespected her again they would have problems. The manager came out wanting to call the cops. We told them to call them, bcuz we were doing the same thing this girl had been doing us, which was popping up. Semaj went hard on the manager, told him to pull his nose out of this business. I advised him to be careful, bcuz I wasn't about to let him talk at her.

   Long story short, the manager asked us to leave, after telling us that he and the chic would talk. What could he do? If this chic keeps insisting on causing trouble and chaos? She had a smile on her face the entire time. I don't trust this chic, and I know she finds ways to come on here and read what I say.

   You are asking for trouble. I promise you. You really don't know what you have done to yourself, for the "gift" you left for my woman to find contains your DNA. Not only can I prove it's you in a court of law, but me, preferably, I think I'm going to keep these soiled panties and put them in a jar. For academical purposes, of course.

   Dumb ass. Thank you for providing me with what I need.