Bastard

longing

   Greetings and blessings to all.

   It's been good having my sun here with me. I feel as tho we are starting anew, this time with no distractions. I can not express the joy inside of me. I promise from now on out he and I shall mend and overcome any obstacles we find in our way. Staying away from social media is doing both of us good, as he is focused on his day to day life around him, and so am I. I'm proud of him for being real with me and putting all his emotions on the table.

   I'm sick with missing my love. Although we talk each day, it's not the same as being in her presence and making love to her. I miss her. I miss being with her. I miss her touch, her embrace. I miss her scent, and her taste.

   I'm no dummy; although Semaj and I have promised ourselves to each other, I know she's loved by others. I know this. Semaj is attractive despite what she may think of herself. Men are drawn to her. I know this. I see this. This can not be helped. She is a desirable woman and she working with something potent, let me be the one to testify.

   Yes, I worry that someone else will catch her eye. Yes, I worry that her soon to be ex will fight me tooth and nail to keep her. Yes, I worry about the distinguished gentleman whose infatuation with her goes long time back. I worry he'll have more to offer her than I; I know she's not a material person. She's been there, living in the lap of luxury within a Colombian cartel, yet she chose the simple life. The hard life. What if this man can entice her?

   I don't know why I'm in my feelings so much. I'm thinking crazy. I know she loves me. Know. I just miss her. I want to see her, not these people. Her.

   She truly is my peace and calm, for right now I am not one hundred. I need her like I need air to breathe. When I'm with Semaj, everything is alright with me. When we're apart, I fall apart.  Once we're married, and I know she is mine legally, I plan on changing the game.

   Counting down the days til I am back home and in the presence of my baby girls, all of them😏❤️