Bastard

time

    Greetings to all. I hope everyone is doing and feeling well.

   I am in my feelings bcuz the woman I love wants to allow me to sleep with other women. She thinks this is acceptable. But it's not.

  I don't care what she says to me, I won't go looking for an itch to scratch.

  I can show her better than I can tell her.

   I took some time with her kids yesterday. I asked them how would it be if I bought mommy a new car. They said it would be nice, only they liked the van. I told them they'd have the van too, just a newer car also. I mentioned it bcuz my homeboy Hassan is selling a black 2014 BMW 328i. I know it's not exactly new but it's in mint condition, and my boy said he'd give me a good price. He said "I know not you parking Lucille and joining the rest of us in this century." I told him of course I wasn't parking Lucille; this would be a "push present".

   When I said that his eyes got big and he asked me if Semaj was going again. I couldn't contain myself and told him she was. Hassan congratulated me, told me he was happy for me, if  I'm happy about it. Of course I am. He said he has to catch me up. He still has no kids with his girlfriend Karly.

    I told Hassan of the upcoming gigs I had, and the plans I have for my family. He told me he's always gonna support my decisions, even tho he himself feels some kinda way about me and Semaj. He always throws the fact that Semaj left me in my face. It doesn't matter to me. What does matter is the current state of our relationship.

   Hassan sees and knows of the sordid dramas my relationships with my children's mothers can bring. He told me I remind him of his own father, who has many other "situations" around town, some of them living and getting along together. He says his mother has long accepted the fact that her husband, his father is a cad, or polygamist. She's even flirted with me on occasion.

    Hassan suggested since I'm keeping all three women, as in taking care of their needs and providing for them, I may as well accept certain truths and start benefiting from them. "You have three women at your ready...if I was you, I'd be happy. Why not get in where you fit in? Mayne, you could be living like a king." Hassan figures I have all three on deck for sexual purposes. Not so. I take care of all three bcuz they've each bore a child of mine, and it's my responsibility to see to their comfort.

   It's not that Hassan doesn't like Semaj; they do speak to each other on occasion, but he knows she is the one for me, the one I love. But he also knows she left me before. I hate the way he likes to throw that to my face. Yes, she left. But we found each other, and keep finding each other, and been finding each other that it's obvious we were meant to be. We both been around the world, encountering other lovers, yet we've made it back here to each other, and she's pregnant with my baby.  So I really don't care what anyone thinks. It's what I know.

   I also know that Hassan prefers Taz for some reason, and he's polite to Shantrelle, but it's Semaj who gets his shade. He is my homeboy and all but his preference is his, not mine. I don't know why he has such feelings for Semaj. She has always been nice and respectable to him. He need not worry about Semaj and I.

   I'm buying the car for her. Something is just telling me to.

   I hate having to leave her and the kids again, but we have gigs lined up, plus Kay is throwing an event and has instructed Old School that I must perform with them. He called me up with all of the details and literally begged me to come thru for the band. I know he gets upset with me when I have to cancel and shit but sometimes I just can't deal with what comes along with that life. But I'm blessed to have this job with them. I truly am, and I promised Old School I would deliver. Kay pays big, well at least she pays me big and I don't want to mess up the rest of the band's money.

   Speaking of Kay, she called me up herself. I absolutely adore me some Kay, but I have decided not to have a sexual relationship with her again. I just sincerely hope she accepts my wishes. She told me about the event she's hosting for a business friend, and she wants it to be all the way live.  Plus, she's booked us for Juneteenth. I don't mind, so long as I can drive back home for Father's Day. Kay requested I be her escort for the event, promised me she'll be on her best behavior. I asked her would she be posing for any pictures. She said of course she would, and she wanted me at her side. I told Kay she knew damn well I didn't do pictures. She may as well find herself a more suitable escort.

   I am so thrilled to say that this time around, Daenarick will be joining me. I miss having him with me on these gigs. He's the one came to me, asking if I had anything lined up for him. It pleased me to my core.

    He came by and we had a chance to smoke a good blunt together. My sun, my young lord has turned into a young man on me. He's been working more than one job, like his pa. I'm not daft tho. I can sense he's not telling me everything about his jobs; I know it's tempting, the "easy" money, but I hope he uses his head and keeps out of trouble. He says Taz is demanding and asks him for money. I told him I give Taz enough money to hold her down, but he says Taz likes to shop. He also told me that he has another spot he be at, and he doesn't like to go empty handed.

   We talked together whilst Semaj was asleep. I asked him if he'd been to see his mother. Daenarick said he hasn't seen her since the day she and Taz fought. I asked him to please go see her. He said he would but he has a lot on his plate right now. I asked him what exactly.

    Seems like my sun has found himself someone else, younger than Taz but still older than his 17 years. It's still so hard to comprehend that he's still a kid, living a grown man's life. Apparently he digs this young woman and wants to be with her, but he knows he's stepped in some shit now. He says Taz has been getting suspicious and blows up his phone when he's not around.

   I asked him to tell me about this girl, and what makes him like her. He said Dad, I don't just like her...I don't know. He told me her name is Cash and she's 22 years old with no kids and she is a go getter. He says he admires her drive and he enjoys spending time with her. I asked (of course I did) if they were sleeping together. This he smiled at. I just shook my head. Of course they're sleeping together. I asked him if he was being careful; he smirked again. That boy right there I tell you.

   I asked him what he planned on doing. He said he's been making plans but he doesn't know how to tell Taz. I asked him what he meant; he said he and Cash have this connection. They work together, they play together 😏 and she's asked him to move in with her on the Southside. She has an apartment and wants him to be with her. She knows about Taz but he said she doesn't know that they were together; he told her he was just living with her to take care of his little sister. He failed to mention they were having sex. I asked him to just be careful and truthful.

   Daenarick wants to tell Taz but he's afraid of how she'll act. He asked, no, begged me to talk to her. Mayne, I tell you.

   We'll be leaving for the road next Thursday, so I want to spend as much time as I can with Semaj. That's why I've planned a little get away for us today. Egypt has agreed to babysit the kids tonight, so we're gonna have ourself a date night. I've made dinner reservations, plus I've booked a suite at the Hilton Garden Inn. Tonight will be all about us, and I need this time with her alone.