Distraction [Zarry]

Chapter Thirty One

[Zayn's POV]

I haven't seen him in months. It's been months since I've heard his voice. It's been months since I've felt his hands on my skin. It's been months since I've listened to him breathe as he slept next to me. My therapist says he was never real. Just a figment of my imagination; but how could that be? He lived with me, we shared so many intimate moments, Louis even saw him. Didn't he? Liam and Niall saw him too. There's no way he was never there.

One morning I woke up, and he was just gone. All of his clothes, all of his stuff, all of his snacks that were in the kitchen. It was all gone. He didn't leave a note, he didn't say goodbye. His phone says "the number does not exist." He's just gone.

I even looked at the apartment lease, only MY name was on it... it was Harry's apartment before it was mine. I moved in with him. No one has seen Harry around in months.

I've been alone for months.

So I just continue to go about my day, constantly searching for him. Sometimes I think I can hear him call out my name, but I look all around and he just isn't there. Why? Why did this happen? Was I too broken for him? Was I too fragile? He saved me. He saved me from myself. He saved me from my mind. He saved me from everything.

I never knew what love was until Harry came along. He showed me that it was okay to be broken. That it was okay to give in. That I didn't have to destroy myself in the process. That I would eventually be okay.

But he's gone. And I have been everything but okay since he left.

I wiped back pricking tears and I closed up the shop where I work, I've worked here for a while now, a simple tire repair shop down the road from my apartment.

Our apartment.

I continued my journey through the snow to our once full and happy little home to what is now empty and hollow. No life. No laughter. Just emptiness. It was really like he was never there, but I know he was.

I trudged up the stairs, walked inside and sat down on the couch.

"Oh Harry." I whimpered into my hands. "Where did you go? I need you to come back, baby. Please come back."

I sat there, motionless for I don't know how many minutes, or even hours. When I looked up it was dark. I walked to the bathroom, not even bothering with food because what's the point in eating anyway, and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it.

Steam filled my bathroom, images replaying in my head of Harry and I. Touching each other, his lips against mine, his soft moans as I moved in and out of him so agonizingly slow he would beg for more. I quickly shoved the thoughts aside and got out. Almost scared to do anything in this fucking apartment. Everything in here reminded me of him. Everything in here smelled like him. I could hardly bare it. I just wanted him back.

With a fit of rage that came out of nowhere, I threw a comb into my bathroom mirror and glass shattered everywhere. I sat on the floor, glass all around me, just looking at myself as tears coated my face.

"Why?" I muttered weakly. "Why did you leave me alone Harry?"