Distraction [Zarry]

Chapter Twenty Six

"Mom?"

"Oh, Zaynie, I've missed you so much." She spoke, her voice cracking, a single tear running down her cheek.

She took a step towards me, as if she were going to hug me and I backed away. Tears running down my eyes as well. I was in utter shock. I had not expected this. She had been gone for so many months. Not even a phone call in I don't even know how long. I was angry. I was hurt. I was happy to see her. Yet I wanted to slam the door in her face and demand her to go away. I was overwhelmed.

"I'll give you two a moment." Harry spoke up, rubbing his hand over my back reassuringly, giving my mother a small nod and a light smile before turning and walking towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her. Yet I wanted--needed so many answers. Why was she here? How did she find me?

"Zayn." She spoke again, breaking me from my thoughts. She took a step towards me again, but this time I couldn't back away. I was frozen. Still unsure she was really here. Tears rolled down my cheeks, a muffled sob escaping my throat. She wrapped her arms around me comfortingly, and I couldn't hold anything back anymore.

I latched on to her tightly, sobs wracking through my body. She whispered soothing things into my ear as she ran her fingers through my hair. Just like she used to do. Everything I've dealt with since she's been gone. Every feeling of pain, anger, and hatred towards my father. The hurt, the abandonment I felt towards her, all pouring out of me in this moment. Even though I was so confused as to why she was here after so long, I have a new-found sense of security now that she is here with me. I've missed her so much more than I have realized myself. I've needed her.

"You were gone for so long." Was all I could manage to choke out.

"I know baby, I'm so sorry I left you. I wish I could have been here for you after all this time."

After saying this I suddenly felt angry. She will never understand the battles I fought everyday. Whether it was within myself, or my father. She won't know the never ending pain I endured. Whether I had caused it myself or he had. The abuse, the hate, the shame. All of it. I hated myself for the longest time. And sometimes I still do, but Harry has saved me from so much of myself. But if she would have stayed, if she would have been here, I'd like to believe things may have been different for me. I released my grip on her, standing up straight, my gaze burning into hers as I wiped my eyes vigorously.

"No. No, you don't wish that. Because if you wanted to be here, you would have been. You have absolutely no idea what I've gone through since you've left. Dad beat the shit out of me, every fucking day for years. Told me he hated me, that I was worthless, that I didn't deserve to be alive, that it was a shame for him to call me his son. And where were you? Nowhere to be found! You even stopped fucking calling! I waited, and waited, and waited for you for months mom, and you never called! Why? Where the hell were you?! What was more important than your son?!"

I was so angry, livid. Everything was boiling over and I couldn't stop it.

"Zayn you don't understand. I didn't know Yaser was treating you so poorly. If I would have known...."

"You would have known if you would have picked up the damn phone!" I was yelling now.

"I was busy Zaynie! And I know that is a poor excuse but it's the only one I have and it's true. I run a company on my own and I have to travel all the time to be able to manage the different enterprises I obtain."

"You were busy? That's your excuse for not contacting me in literally months? You were busy? That's not good enough and sorry doesn't cut it. I'm so, so happy to see you, I really am. But I'm also so fucking pissed, that I was abandoned for months, years by my own mother--the only person besides Louis, who isn't even around anymore, and Harry to ever care about me because she was busy. So either tell me why you're here for leave." I was still crying, and it was pissing me off. I was so overwhelmed at the moment though I couldn't control it.