Distraction [Zarry]

Chapter Twenty Nine

(Harry's POV)

It's been two weeks since Zayn and I got the news that his father had passed away. My birthday is in three days, and I'm worried. Zayn has been worse than I had ever seen him.

I thought things were getting better for him, for us. They seemed like they were for awhile. Penelope has even adjusted well, and she's happier than ever. She's the only one who's happy in this house though. I'm struggling too, because Zayn can't even sleep. We didn't go to his father's funeral. He has let this consume him. His nightmares have gotten worse to the point where he doesn't even try to come to bed anymore, he just stays awake all night, angry, and drinks. It worries me. Sometimes I wake up to him throwing things, or yelling. And when I try to be there for him he pushes me away, literally. He has never been physically violent but this is a side of him I've never seen before. Then by morning he comes to me crying and apologizing and I'm unsure what to do.

I'm trying so hard to be there for him. This isn't the Zayn I know. Not my Zayn. And without him realizing it, he's tearing me apart right along with him.

And plus I'm a little excited for my birthday, and I really hope Zayn snaps out of his head long enough to remember it.

I'm laying in bed and snap from my thoughts when I hear Zayn throw another bottle, it breaking against the concrete wall. Penelope perks up on the bed at the noise.

I get up, pet her head for a moment, and head into the hall to try to calm Zayn down again.

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH. YOU DID THIS TO ME. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY." He's yelling and tipping the coffee table over. I stand there, alarmed. Scared to try to console him.

"Zayn." I say softly.

He snaps his gaze towards me, eyes cold. "What the fuck do you want Harry?"

Tears prick my eyes but I choke them back, daring to take a step towards him. "Babe, you're going to be okay, just come back to bed with me. Let me be here for you."

He stands there, like a stone. Eyes glaring at me, pupils blown black. "No one can help me Harry. Not him, not you, not anyone. Just go away before I hurt you."

"You're not gonna hurt me, I know you wouldn't ever hurt me Zayn." I spoke with confidence but I was honestly afraid. But I have to help him, he can't live like this. I can't live like this.

"Don't come near me." He spits, stepping away but I put a hand on his arm to keep him from moving.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He yells and I'm taken off guard as he pushes me to the ground hard. Tears fall down my face and I can't control what I say next.

"You're just like him! You hurt people who want to be there for you. You're toxic. I have done nothing but be there for you and give you everything and things were okay for awhile and now you've turned into this person I don't even know." I was choking back sobs, trying to stand my ground as I got off the floor.

He just stares at me, he looks so broken as a few tears slip from his eyes as well.

"Please baby, please see what you're doing is wrong. I'm your angel remember? I'm not here to hurt you I'm here to help you please stop hurting me." I cry as I grab his hand. "I love you Zayn, please just let me be there."

He pulls me into his arms and begins to sob, shoulders shaking.

"I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. You're right, I'm just like my father and it makes me literally sick to know that."

I rub his back soothingly, trying to calm myself down also.

"It's okay baby. I understand. It's going to get better but you have to want it to get better. You have to try, for us."

I want to tell him so bad that I'm so heartbroken as well. That he is hurting me so much without even realizing and I'm almost at the end of my rope. But he already has so much going on. I can't put that guilt on him.

He suddenly pulls away, walking towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" I say, stunned by his abrupt movements.

"Shower." He mumbles and slams the door.

I wipe my eyes and head back to bed, Penelope snuggling up next to my torso. I pet her softly as I listen to Zayn's broken sobs along with the running water.

I'm not able to stop my tears either, letting them fall freely down my cheeks onto my pillow.

"Daddy's gonna be okay Penelope. He's just dealing with things. Everything's going to be fine. We're going to be fine."

I'm going to be fine.

-----------------------------------------

Filler chapter but here is chapter 29, please please let me know what you think!

Sorry its been so long since i've updated. I have been lacking inspiration.

Love you all and thank you for being patient and supportive.

I'm forever grateful.

- Raegon x.