Song for the chapter: Ease My Mind by Skrillex
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I didn't want to get all dolled up, I didn't even want to go out. But here I was in my skin-tight jeans and a bright, flowy top. Linley pretty much sat me down and forced makeup onto me. I was the same girl I had been, but I didn't even recognize myself anymore. All of the light had left my eyes, I didn't have the same glow that I used to have.
As we stepped inside Connor's house, the atmosphere overwhelmed me. The feeling of the music pulsing through my veins was all too familiar. We walked through the crowd of people, glances and whistles were thrown our way from guys all around us. I already felt uncomfortable. The only thing that would get me through the night was alcohol.
"Looks like right now your choices are beer, blueberry vodka, or tequila," Lin says as she pours herself a cup of the vodka and sprite. When she sets the bottle of vodka back down, I take it and pour some into my empty cup. Before she can pour any sprite in, I throw my head back and take a giant gulp of the alcohol. It burns my throat on the way down and sends a feeling of warmth throughout my body. "Well, I didn't expect that," she says with a laugh.
"Here, this is what you need," I hear a familiar voice say next to me. I turn around to find Connor smiling and holding out a shot glass. He sets it down on the counter and fills the cup with tequila. "Try this," he says with a smirk.
I look over at Linley and she nods down at the drink with a smile. I pick up the small glass and throw the liquid to the back of my throat. It burns more than the vodka did, causing me to cough a few times after it all goes down. My eyes are watering and my chest and cheeks are now on fire. I embrace the warmth, letting it flow through my body. It reminded me of Luke's warm skin and how it would radiate onto me.
Thoughts of Luke quickly consume my mind, bringing back memories of us standing in this exact room together. I take the bottle of tequila and pour another glass full into the shot glass. I quickly gulp it down and it eases me a little. I had to get Luke out of my mind.
"Wow, you're a brave one," Connor says as him and Linley laugh. "What do you say we go outside?" He asks us. We both nod and Linley makes me the same drink that she has before we head out of the house.
The backyard is the most crowded area as usual. I look around and see people everywhere, expecting to spot that blonde hair in the crowd. I find no such thing and take a big gulp of my drink.
We walk around the yard with Connor, who introduces us to many people that I've never talked to. Everybody is extremely nice and I enjoy getting to know them. A lot of people ask me how Luke is and Linley steps in and tells them that we're not together anymore. I have to step back each time and hold the tears in the best that I can. How could people think that we were still together? I thought that my depressed mood at school was a dead giveaway, did they think I was just depressed all of the time? Or that I was only depressed because my boyfriend was traveling around the world? I only wish. This time I take three more giant drinks.
Within minutes, the effects of the alcohol finally hit me all at once. I get a wave of dizziness and have to lean on Lin for a second so I can get my balance back. As each second goes by, I feel my body and mind begin to relax. The memories of Luke and I dancing in this same yard slowly start to dissolve from my mind.
Even if it was just for tonight, I would forget about Luke.
