Heaven and Hell - Book 1, Castiel Fanfic

4.12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag - part 1

(Third POV)

A magician practices a card-handling move. Another magician, an old man, Jay, demonstrates a one-handed cut to the bartender. "Charlier cut." Jay says. "Wow. You're really good." The bartender says with a smile. Another magician, a younger man, Vance, and his assistant are sitting nearby.

"Yeah, great. Hey, show us another." Vance says sarcastically. "Finish your drink, Vance." The assistant says annoyed. "This is a simple riffle shuffle." Jay says. Jay shuffles the deck and fumbles some of the cards, making Vance laugh. "Do a card trick for me." The bartender then asks Jay with a sympathetic smile.

"Ooh, here we go, The Incredible Jay." Vance says sarcastically. "All right, young lady, would you please tell me when to stop?" Jay asks. Jay riffles the edge of the cards. "Stop." The bartender says. Jay holds up part of the deck, showing the card he was stopped on. He hasn't seen the card himself, it's the three of spades.

"This is your card. Commit it to memory, hm?" Jay asks, making the bartender nod. Jay puts the deck back together, the three of spades apparently somewhere in the middle. "That's incredible, Jay." Vance says again mockingly. "Don't be a jerk." The assistant says, frowning at Vance.

"Right, now..." Jay says. Jay spreads the cards out face-down, then uses the four of diamonds to flip them all face-up. "Do you see your card?" Jay asks. "Um...no, I don't." the bartender says sadly. Jay plays with the cards, making the bartender laugh. "No, the cards say no." Jay says with a smile.

"Check his pocket." Vance whispers. "For God's sake, Vance." The assistant says annoyed. Vance gets up. "Oh, just check—check the damn pocket!" he yells. "So, if you then would remove—" Jay begins, but gets interrupted by Vance.

Vance comes over and clears his throat. He pulls a card out of Jay's pocket and turns it over. "This your card?" Vance asks, rolling his eyes. "Why are you so mean? Can't you just leave the old guy alone?" the bartender asks.

...

"I Am the Douchebag" by Christopher Lennertz and Steve Frangadakis plays. Another magician, a young man, Jeb Dexter is practicing a trick involving flying on wires, smoke, and flames in the palms of his hands, to a small audience.

Yet another magician, Charlie, an old man with a birthmark above his right eye, is one of the audience members. So is Jay and so is yet another magician, Vernon, an old man. "Is he wearing eyeliner?" Charlie asks confused. "Can't tell. I'm blinded by all the sterling silver." Vernon says.

"The light has to find me!" Jeb yells, making the music stop. "Get it? It, it has to find me!" he yells again. "What a douchebag." Charlie says. "Would you guys give it a rest? You're giving me a headache." Jay says annoyed.

"Oh, come on, Jay. His misdirect is shaking his ass like an Eighth Avenue hooker." Vernon says. "Used to be about skill." Charlie says, sighing. "Yeah, used to be. Used to be. Listen to the two of you. It's pathetic. Bitter old men talking about the glory days. You know what? This douchebag isn't the joke. We are." Jay says.

"Hey, who you calling a joke?" Charlie asks offended. "Me, for one." Jay says. Jeb's act is back on. "That used to be us." Jay says, pointing at the stage. "You know, maybe he is a douchebag—" Jay begins. "But he's playing the main stage and we can't even afford an assistant. What the hell are we doing?" he continues.

"We're doing all right." Charlie says, shrugging his shoulders. "No, we're not. We're sad, we're old, and we're dying." Jay says. "Jay." Charlie says sadly. "I'm gonna do the Table of Death tonight." Jay says, making his two friends look at him with worry. "No. No, you're not, Jay. Don't be crazy." Vernon says. "You almost killed yourself the last time you tried it, and that was thirty years ago!" Charlie exclaims. "Oh, who cares if it kills me? At least I'll go out with a headline." Jay says.