The Year We Had (MCYT AU)

9: Old Habits

TW: underage drug usage! please read with care

Wilbur's second day was only slightly better than his first.

He hadn't had science, thankfully, but he had slept badly, nightmares plaguing his mind every time he closed his eyes. He wasn't hungry, but he ate anyway, which made him feel a little sick. He had spoken to Niki again in geography, and she had joined their group at lunch. She had already known Fundy for a little while, and she used to tutor Tubbo, so she was a great addition. She fell perfectly into their dynamic. It should have been a bigger win than it was.

On his third day, he had another panic attack. Thankfully, this one was at lunch, and he could find a little corner to ride it out without any unwanted attention from his friends or his brothers. But it left him feeling gross and exhausted, and missing the nights in the woods he would spend with his friends back home.

Thankfully, they seemed to be feeling the same way. He was laying on his bed, scrolling through his phone after an incredibly long day, when a text notification caught his attention.

Schlatt: jesus christ, you didn't say you were living at fucking hogwarts

His head tilted slightly as he tapped out a reply.

Wilbur: what, did you finally google maps it?

Schlatt: i'm out the front with charlie

Wilbur: what

Schlatt: get out here dude

Schlatt: got the good stuff

Wilbur glanced at Fundy, who was sitting at his desk, hovering over his laptop, eyebrows pinched together in concentration. He tossed up his options for a moment, and then tapped out a quick reply.

Wilbur: on my way

"I'm gonna leave for a bit." He said abruptly, getting to his feet and pulling on his shoes.

"What?" Fundy asked, his concentration breaking as he turned to look over at his roommate. "Dude it's past curfew."

"I know." Wilbur pulled on a black hoodie. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Wh--" Fundy cut himself off, shaking his head. "You're sneaking out?"

Wilbur raised his eyebrows at him as he adjusted his beanie over his head. Fundy began to shake his head. "Bad idea. What if you get caught?"

"I won't." The taller said confidently.

"What if they come looking for you?"

"Tell them I went to the bathroom."

"But-"

Wilbur was already at the door, his hand resting on the handle. "Don't worry, Fundy. Just cover for me if anyone asks. It'll be alright."

Fundy opened his mouth to protest, but Wilbur was already making his way out of the door, glancing at the empty corridor as he heard it click shut softly behind him.

---

Schlatt and Charlie didn't notice the figure approaching the car until the back door was opening and he was climbing inside.

"Jesus fuck!" Schlatt exclaimed, practically jumping out of his skin.

Wilbur pulled his hood down with a mischievous grin. "Hey Schlatt. What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Fuckin' hell." Schlatt muttered, shaking his head as he turned the key in the ignition. The car rumbled quietly to life, and he pulled away from the school. "You're the fuckin' worst, you know that?"

"I'm so glad boarding school didn't change you, Wilbur." Charlie said with a laugh, glancing at his friend in the rearview mirror.

Wilbur sat back in the chair, relaxing fully for the first time since arriving at the new school. "'Course not. Just because I'm surrounded by wealthy pricks all day doesn't mean I'm forgetting where I come from."

They drove around for a little while, eventually settling on a clearing that overlooked the town below. The three boys climbed out and sat on the bonnet of the car, making themselves comfortable. Charlie produced a joint from the glovebox and lit it, took a hit, and passed it on.

Nobody spoke for a little while. It was nice. Peaceful. Wilbur watched the little lights down below as the drug took its effect, and he felt himself relax properly for the first time since arriving at Montville.

"We fuckin' miss you, man." Schlatt murmured, breaking the silence. "It's just not the same."

Wilbur let out a hollow laugh. "That's what happens when you blow up half a highschool, dude."

"That wasn't you." Charlie rolled his eyes, giving his friend a shove. "C'mon, man."

Wilbur sighed a long sigh, looking wistfully out at the town. "You should hear the rumors. It's actually funny at this point."

"What rumors?" Schlatt asked, passing over the joint. "You starting drama already?"

"Not trying to." Wilbur said airily, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly, his lungs burning. If the weed hadn't been so relaxing, he might have had a panic attack over it. "You should hear what they're saying though." It wasn't just him, it was him and Techno. Everyone had questions, and nobody had the guts to ask what was going on.

"Fuck those private school assholes." Schlatt waved them off, rolling his eyes. "Who cares what they think?"

Wilbur hummed lightly, passing off the joint.

---

Wilbur's friends were worried about him, but he knew that. His brothers were worried about him, but he knew that too. He was tired of people being so concerned about his wellbeing.

He was tired of waking up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He was tired of feeling the tightness in his chest randomly, and knowing what would inevitably follow. God, he was just so tired.

It was nice to see Schlatt and Charlie again. They were the only people who had stuck with him through several schools, even when they weren't in the same districts anymore. They used to take him out every other night to get his mind off things, especially when Techno was in the hospital. It was nice to get away from his dorm for a few hours and relive old times and plan for a future that may never happen.

They laughed and swore and drank and smoked, and it was everything he had needed. When they returned him to the school it was with the promise to return soon, and that made him feel okay about going back to his little dorm room.

He made in without anybody seeing and passed out almost immediately on his unmade bed, not even bothering to kick his shoes off.

For the first time in a week, he slept soundly, without a single nightmare to disturb his rest.