FWB|| Klance HS AU✓

Chapter 52: Keith's Journal Pt. 2

April 10, 2021

As the third quarter of my senior year comes to a close, Keith Akira Kogane brings home a fucking AMAZING report card. The lowest grade I got on my report card was an 80%. A fucking 80%. I can barely believe it myself, but I actually did it. I actually got good grades for once. I'm proud of myself? Yeah, I'm proud of myself. I am truthy and honestly proud of myself, the effort I put in, and the overall outcome. Like I did good, really good. Sure, it's not all A's, but I don't care. It's enough for me to look at and be happy with. It's better than I've done since the 5th grade. Call it the bare minimum, I do not care. I put my mind to it and I fucking did it. That's an accomplishment.

Lance was proud of me too, really proud. When we came out of 6th hour with our report cards I went running to his locker. I don't run, like ever, so Lance could tell it was big deal when he saw me dashing down the hallway. I couldn't even speak I was so excited so I just gave it to him. He literally picked me up and spun me around like some fucking cheesy romantic comedy. But for some reason, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed him kissing all over my face and telling me how I did such an amazing job. Lance always tells me he's proud of me, even when it's for something little like letting him check me for cuts. Something about knowing he was proud of a thing that I really tried for made me happy, happier than I get when he normally tells me that. I guess knowing I worked my ass off for it and seeing how it was being noticed was like a breath of fresh air.

Shiro even told me he was proud. Crazy right? He looked me in my eyes and told me I did a good job, that's a HUGE accomplishment. As weird as it seems, hearing that Shiro was proud felt better than Lance telling me that. I don't know, but it just does. I think it's because I don't hear that from Shiro too often. There isn't a memory stored in my head of him saying he was truly proud of me. Hearing him say that for the first time ever was the most satisfying thing in the world. It's nice to know that you did a job good. It's nice to know that you're appreciated for your work. Shiro never told me that, so making him proud was my honest goal. I just wanted him to know that I did care and that I could be a good kid. I put so much pressure on Shiro and I know that. Bringing home good grades probably lifted a weight off his chest. I'm happy though, I'm happy he notices my effort now.

Even though I say I got good grades for Shiro, I needed this. I really fucking needed this. For so long I've been in this dark state of mind where I feel unmotivated and uninterested. Getting out of bed to see Lance was a struggle alone, but looking at homework caused a breakdown. Picking myself up really helped, and starting with my mental health was a good idea. Now that I see improvements in myself I feel like I can push myself back into my normal lifestyle, maybe even a better one. Trying to get myself to do school work was difficult, but it needed to happen. I needed to try and get better. Setting a goal for myself and creating an idea motivated me to actually do the damn work. It was so fucking stressful and I cried so many times, but it was worth it. That 80% in math was definitely worth stress crying and late nights. Knowing that I made my loved ones proud, and myself, will always be worth it.

April 14, 2021

Lance was offered a scholarship today, kind of.

The University of Miami. Florida, Miami. There's a lot to talk about here so let me start from the beginning.

It was after Lance's baseball game and I was waiting for him on the bleachers to change or whatever. When he came out of the locker room this man stopped him. I didn't bother to walk down there and listen to what they were talking about. I knew Lance would tell me when he came and got me anyways, so I just watched from a distance. After a good ten-minute conversation, Lance and the man went their separate ways. He walked up the bleachers looking at me like he just saw a ghost. I panicked because I thought something happened so I kept asking him what was wrong and he was just looking at me.