It's Way Too High

Good Times

Ashton's POV

"Ash?" Michael's voice rang from somewhere in my house. I hummed to it, though I know he wouldn't hear it. Or maybe he does because my door pushed open right after.

"You done yet?"

"Yeah, just need to put my laptop and chargers in and then I'll be good," I forced a smile on my face, before throwing my gaze back to the luggage.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm... alright, I guess,"

"You don't need to lie, you know,"

"... I know," I looked down in my lap, staring at the plain silver band that wrapped around my middle finger.

"So?"

"What?"

"How are you feeling?" Michael took a seat on my bed, eyes probably staring right in my way.

"I don't know. I'm sad because he's not here and we- I kinda end things badly. I'm upset because I have no fucking idea what I should do now what I want. And I'm mad that I couldn't handle this better."

"Honestly, Ash... I still don't understand why you can't just bring him with you,"

"I can't do that to him, Mike. Westwood is his house, his hometown, his dream place. While it was true that we love each other, I couldn't just make him leave everything for... well, me."

"Is that the real reason or are you just saying that because you don't know it yourself?"

"What? Of course, it's the real reason,"

"Because, no offence, Ash, it feels like you deliberately did it just so you could see the bond you guys have, it's like you were testing your relationship, like... you were testing him."

I stayed silent after Michael said that. Because, even if I don't want to admit it, he was right, that was what deep down I was feeling. That was my real reason.

"See, I know you were thinking about it. Why are you doing this to him? To yourself? You haven't even left yet, but I could already see how torn you are by this,"

"I'm so dumb, aren't I?" I turned my head around, looking at him directly in the eyes.

"I'm not saying you are, no one is. I just asked why,"

"I... can't answer that,"

"Because you don't know? Or because you don't want to admit it?"

"... Both," I mumbled out tiredly.

"Does this have something to do with your beliefs?" Michael carefully asked.

"Kinda,"

"Is it crossing your beliefs?"

"Not really,"

"Then?"

"I... don't know. I truly don't, Mike. I'm so lost here right now, but I still want to try this out," I heard Michael sighed from the bed, but he didn't say anything else.

I continued to pack the rest of my stuff, dumping them into the opened luggage and tidy them up as neat as possible when my mind was a chaotic mess. I heard some footsteps from the hallway and soon enough Calum's head pop in, a small smile was planted on his face.

"Hey,"

"Hi, babe," Michael said, greeting his fiancé with a cute wave.

"What's happening here?"