It's Way Too High

SOML: Daddy Issues

"How's that so?"

"It all started when I was about to start Grade 10th. I have to move school for some reason and though I don't want to, I got no choice but to agree. To make matter worse, I can't even decide what school I wanna go to because they insisted on this particular one. I gave in, again, and do what the hell they want me to do. The school was horrible. People were so fucking judgemental and close-minded. They love drama so they create a bunch of rumours and spread it around in a blink of an eye. At first, I don't really give a damn, but then it feels too much that I have to see the school counsellor. My days in that hell hole went like that for the rest of the semester until and honestly, it would be such complete torture if it wasn't for Michael and Calum. Those two basically save my life in more way than one and I could never thank them enough for it. We managed to pass Grade 10th and 11th just fine and honestly, grade 11th was the best year of our life. But then, senior year come around and all hell breaks loose again."

"What happened?"

"I realised so many things all at the same time and I was so fucking stressed out with the whole final exam thing along with Uni preparation but I don't know what I wanna be. Like, I know I wanna be a psychologist or a psychiatrist but then again, I also wanna be a PR management, you see my struggle? I got no one but myself to decide on that option. And to top it all, my dad and I... We barely speak. Money was tight, like really, so I gotta choose and contemplate everything wisely, not to mention that I also have a sister and that's just another weight on me. All of my fear comes back to me all at once and it's just too much." Luke's eyes held concern when I looked up at him and he motioned me to get closer.

"C'mere," I raised my eyebrow at him but he just smiled at me. He gripped my hips gently before lifting me onto his lap.

"Better. You can continue when you're ready," He smiled again, thumb caressing my hips softly. I can't help but blush before gathering my thoughts again,

"Alright uh... When all of my friends were busy having the talk with their fams about what major they're gonna do in Uni, I don't even know how to approach my dad. It's all a mess. My needs, my wants, his wants, his wishes, our financial condition, my mum's condition, I can't keep my focus. I barely got time to study because they keep bossing me around to keep up the house. I feel like my family is slowly but surely falling apart and honestly, that's my biggest fear. I only have my cousins at the time, like physically. The three of them are older than me and I was depending my life on them without me realising it. But one day, I was slapped hard by the truth. No, they didn't hurt me or something, but I just come to my realisation when we were all discussing things. They got their life altogether; they got stability while I was still in the middle of the ocean, swinging side by side by the waves. They knew what they're doing, they got their plan set and mind-made, and they were way too far ahead from me. I took in that if I didn't gather my shit together ASAP, I would be nowhere near them once I was their age. One thing led to another, I finally decided it on my own and I ran away. I don't get the money for it honestly, so I called my aunt and she was more than happy to lend me some. I didn't have a dime, but I always had a vision, so I depend on that. And the high hopes as well, I don't know but I just always knew I'm gonna be that one-in-a-million. I moved to London, where she lived, and tidy up my life up there. I went to college and majoring in Public Relationship. They help me paid 75% of my tuition fee and they gave me a roof as well. They fed me, clothed me and comforted me when I need it. My aunt is everything to me, you know. We were so close it's like she was my second mum. "

"I'm glad you have her,"

"I do too. She inspired me so much you know. Both of us are the first child with little siblings, we got the weight on our shoulder and were forced to be the strongest version of ourselves so we can be the perfect role model for our siblings. Both of us ran away from home, we've been through hell back and forth, and we got no one but our own self. But anyway, I feel guilty. She's been there for me for as long as I could remember, I always vent to her, adding another weight to her shoulder when she got her own problem already. I feel like a burden, you know."