Dabi

S/o deals with self harm urges

This might be a bit of a mess since I'm a bit of a mess while writing this, but I needed to vent and Dabi is one of my many comfort characters.

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, themes of depression

You were alone at the apartment for the eighth day in a row, not like you were counting or anything. Dabi was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn't really out of the norm. He could be gone for days, even weeks at a time on League business.

Usually you didn't mind the alone time, you got to study in peace when he wasn't constantly demanding attention, but right now, you really wanted him to be there, you didn't want to be alone.

The evening before had been bad for you. You had been struggling with incredibly strong urges to hurt yourself. You had managed to avoid it last night by just forcing yourself to go to sleep, but you were 99% sure that wouldn't work this time.

You had been trying to call Dabi the whole day, but he hadn't been answering any of your calls. You decided to shoot him a text, asking him when he would be back. After a few hours you pretty much gave up hope on him answering you or coming home that night.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." you hissed as you marched back and forth in the kitchen.

You were biting your hand, hoping it would relieve some of your urges, but it was for naught. Your wrist was itching, it was almost like it was begging you to cut it.

You sat down in the corner of the kitchen and just sighed. You were tired, so tired, you had big exams coming up and now this shit. You rubbed your temples with two fingers and took a few, deep, wavering breaths. You had been clean just a little over 5 months and you were prepared to throw all that work into the garbage tonight.

Dabi was on his way home. He had broken his phone on a mission again, and he couldn't be bothered to borrow someone else's, since he would be home in a couple of hours anyway. You had waited for days already so a couple of hours shouldn't hurt, right?

When Dabi got to the apartment, he found you sitting in the kitchen corner hitting your thighs.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked and sat down opposite of you on the floor. He didn't stop you from hitting yourself, but he didn't need to, you stopped on your own when you realized he was there.

"It's driving me crazy..." you muttered, before looking at him. "Where the hell have you been? You said you'd be gone four days, tops" you rumbled.

"The whole thing went kinda sideways and... yeah" he shrugged. "Anyway, why do you look like shit?"

"You really don't sugarcoat things, do you?"

"Nope"

"I feel like shit. I really do, my wrist is itching again and I really, really want to cut myself. It's like my body is begging me to do it, fucking hell I want to do it, so badly"

"I don't really know what to tell you sweetness, as you can see I know the feeling, but I have no damn clue how to get rid of it in an even remotely healthy way" Dabi said and pointed at his own scars.

"I'm not really asking for advice, I just wanted to say it out loud to someone" you sighed and got up from the floor.

Dabi followed and wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you put some water in the kettle and turned it on.

"Tea?" he asked.

"Yep, maybe it'll help me sleep, you know chamomile has a calming effect and stuff like that"

"I think that's bullshit but okay" he said and kissed you on the cheek.

Dabi was being very clingy again, but you didn't really mind, you were just glad to have him there with you. It didn't really make the urges go away, but it still helped with controlling them. Maybe tomorrow would be better, maybe it would be worse, who the hell knew, but tonight you wouldn't hurt yourself.