sunflowers by the sea

To Those Who Have Picked Me Apart

Picked apart and torn
And shattered like broken glass
To the ones who have hurt me in the past
Oh trust me,
I still remember every detail
Of your cold, cruel words
From that ugly, sharp tongue of yours
Cutting through my innocence
And my youth
And my joyful ways
For my spirit has been tainted
By your meanness
Your lack of class
And your unkind ways

For I still remember the days
Where you would taunt me during recess
Stabbing me in the back
Making me feel like I was worthless
Tossing me around
Like I was some sort of doll
The type made out of rags

And you have made me cry
Time and time again
And you have made me feel worthless
And sick to my stomach
Whenever I walk past
That haunting figure of yours
Afraid I would be your next target
The type you'd rain your poisonous arrows upon

And that nasty memory of you
Tossing out my uniform
Into the school's swimming pool
Making my clothes all drenched
Just so you could have a good laugh
Did you really think I could ever forget?
It made my little self feel as though
I had been defeated and thrown
Into this sinking whirlpool of darkness
The type you could drown in
If you were not able to get yourself out
In due time of this fast-swirling abyss

I would know all too well
For I have tried in desperate attempts
And the bitter years of my past have been spent
To save myself,
Crawling out of this dark hole
Out of the deepest of sinking depths

And yet,
Despite the heartache
The hurt
And the wounds
From your repeated and relentless stabs
I thank you
For after all these long, hard years
And the darkness I have been through
And the path I have been lost in
Is one that have made me
The very way I now am
For you have taught me to have resilience
And immense strength
And the power
Of feeling the word "forgive"
In order to move on from the bitter past

It has been a long journey
A real long voyage indeed
And a difficult one too, to say the very least
But I have made it to the shore
Despite all those thunderstorms
And the very near wreckage of my old and battered
Yet still sailing ship

However, my dear,
Despite all these long years that have passed
I have heard you have not
Changed one single bit
And perhaps this stubborn head of yours
Will refuse to listen
To what I have to say
But if I were you, I'd look into the mirror
To reflect upon my spiteful ways
For this mean spirit of yours
Is something you must rid of
Before it is much too late
For all the taunting and all the bullying
Is a projection of an underlying problem

It is a projection
Of your self-hate