I have spent
A long, long eternity
Disliking and picking apart
Every piece of myself;
From the way I talk to the way I walk
And even the way I often feel like a mess,
I have spent
So much time
(Too much time)
Spilling out words
Full of darkness and torment and pain and regrets
But I have come to realise that
I am going nowhere;
Forever stuck in a dim-lit tunnel
It's walls echoing all my self-hatred
Straight into my ears
Like a distorted melody on a broken record
Being played over and over and over again.
For I cannot hate myself
Into a being I will like
And if I continue
To tear myself apart
Then what parts of me
Will I have left behind?
So maybe,
Just maybe,
I am allowed to be happy
Even with all my self-doubts
And uncertainties and bad days and regrets
And even with me sobbing
Throughout some nights,
Pillow soaked through with my once buried tears-
Once buried deep inside.
Because now I understand
That it is okay
(And that it will always be okay)
To just be who I am
Despite all the noise
Coming from the outside
Where an unattainable bar
Is being set up
Much too high
YOU ARE READING
sunflowers by the sea
PoetryThe book 'sunflowers by the sea' is a compilation of poems I have written. It is about the wonders over the hardships as well as complications of the human life, where the highs and the lows, the dos and the don'ts, as well as the desperate hopes of...
