Divine's Time

9. pain

Divine

"Alright, nigga. Pass the blunt quit hoggin' like a hoe." Jace snapped at Omar as he puffed the blunt quickly. We were at Omar's spot smoking for a few hours, we were now on our 5th blunt. By this time, I'm high out of my mind and mentally checked out.
"Aye, D. You stuck?" Omar joked making the rest of the guys laugh and me to snap back into reality.

I sighed; and chuckled lowly "I'm straight."

There was a short silence before Omar passed me the blunt, I wanted to turn it down but naturally my arm went for it. At the same time, I picked up the double cup of lean and sipped a little of that. I could feel Omar's eyes of worry and judgement burn a whole into me, but I ignored it. He stared at me like he was trying to look for something in me.

"Aye, D. You good to drive?" He asked.
I checked my phone to see the time, it read 4:15 am.
I sighed, I wanted to drive home so I can be alone and sleep this shit off, but I could barely move. I sighed in annoyance, "Nah, bro. I'm good to stay here?"

Omar shook his head, "Yeah, my nigga. That couch got your name all on it. I'm about to hit the sheets myself, no cap." Omar put out the blunt, and looked at the rest of the guys curing them to leave.
Everybody dapped me and Omar up before leaving his apartment.

I finished the last of the lean, watching Omar straighten up the area and turn off the music.

"You need a pillow or something?" Omar asked as I dozed off.
"I'm good, bro. Appreciate you." I told him, closing my eyes.

"Aye, bro. You good?" Omar asked folding his large arms.
I nodded, waving him off "I'm good, bro."

"No like, are you good for real? You been gone lately. I don't hear from you; I barely see you around outside from you hustling. And bro, you are facing them blunts like crazy and when the hell you start drinking lean like that?" He vented showing concern. His face had worry and concern written all over it.

I put on a smirk, "I'm good, nigga. I thought you invited me over to get lit. That's what I'm doing."
Omar ran his hands over his waved, shaking his head. "I'm just saying, bro. You just changed... you ain't that funny, cheesing ass, upbeat nigga no more. You ain't the D I know. I know our brother P-"

"My brother." I corrected him quickly without thinking. His face made a frown and I sighed knowing he was going to rant some more. Omar and P were close as hell, we all were. But when P got heavy in the streets and shit became too real, Omar got distant. It was me and P at the end of the day, it was always like that. When P needed me for anything I was there. Omar was there when shit was good but when P was in trouble, I was the only one with him.

Niggas love to claim they was P's "bro" them niggas proved why blood will always be thicker than water, including Omar. When P died, I was the only one after niggas trying to find out who killed my brother. Omar always took the safe route, trying to leave it up to these whack-ass police and what good did that do.

"What you mean by that bro?" He asked offended.
I sat up slowly, "What I just said, he was my brother."

"We weren't blood, but he was still my brother D. And you know that. Both y'all my brothers-"

"If he was yo' brother then why the fuck was I the only one in that car strapped that night? I came to you right after I left that hospital, and I left alone nigga." I scolded.
"Nigga, you didn't even know who you were looking for!" He growled slapping his large hands together.

"I don't matter-"
"It does! D, you were riding around the city terrorizing niggas. With no plan and no clue. That wasn't gone bring no justice to P-"