Sinner

Chapter 68

*Joylce POV*

*Korean*

"Joylce, how does it feel to finally be an idol?" Taemin asks as I sip on my cup of boba.

"Terrible," I say, making Taemin, Chris, Lisa, Mina, and Jungkook laugh.

"OH MY GOD JOYLCE!" Lisa says as Mina puts down her drink, Jungkook continues to laugh into his hands, Chris hits his hands against the table and continues to laugh.

"Joylce! You are not allowed to say that!" Mina cackles out.

"What it's true! It's hard being an idol!" I say making them continue to laugh.

"You're right but still!" Chris buds in as I sip my cup of boba.

"Okay but I want to know why you hate being an idol, " Taemin says.

"Ooouuu that is a good question, " Lisa says as she takes a bite of her food.

"It's exhausting and you're with the same people all day. Your body hurts from facing for like 6 hours straight. We don't get sleep because our schedule usually ends at 11 pm and starts at like 6 am. You met with a lot of people and just want to use you and people underestimate me because not only am I a woman but I'm also a foreigner. It's also hard to deal with the crazy fans that follow your car and the phone calls. The fact that some fans only stan one member.

It's crazy because right now my group is being praised for being so too. Yet the same people are telling me to straighten and asking Fathima to remove her hijab.

They tell Aashi to cover up and call her a hoe. Aashi didn't lose her first kiss until two months ago.

They call Sidney the nice black woman and call  Valentina a giant. They say that Soyoung is too quiet. They say that Ashton can't dance.

The only person in the group that isn't getting hate in any way is Esmee." I open up.

I look at my cup watching the black pearls swim in the tea. I stirred my straw watching the pearls hypnotize me. The liquid makes the pearls dance and I start to forget the pain that stabs my cold heart beating or being an idol. I start thinking about home and how much I miss seeing my family.

It's been over two years since I've seen my family in person. I managed to buy them a house on the good side of Detroit away from the gang wars. Fear came through my body as I realized I haven't had a gang update in over two months.

I type in my phone a reminder to check up on the gang.

"Joylce are you paying attention?" Jungkook asks me.

"No, sorry I was lost in thought. What happened, " I ask.

"Um, well we all have really good advice to help you but I guess fuck that, " Jungkook says.

"Jungkook isn't like that, Joylce is a leader to an up-and-coming group. Of course, it was in thought, she was probably thinking leader shit, " Mina says.

"I guess we got to repeat what we said, " Lisa says.

"Being an idol is hard because it's like stepping on an eggshell. You get used to it and the real fans' love is unbelievable." Taemin says.

"Yeah, honestly the reason we love being idols is that we are creating music and helping people with our art, " Jungkook says.

"You also experience a sisterhood that you never experience in another job," Lisa says.

"Yeah, you are in a group that hopefully turns into your family. A relationship that when you are away from them, you feel a piece of yourself with them," Mina says.