First Love

34

The next day I woke up in the afternoon. Even after sleeping till late I was tired. I dragged my body out o the bed and lazily got ready. I had breakfast and sat down on the couch, watching TV. I wasn't focused on it. I was looking at it but my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't live like this. I had to go out or I'll go insane. I also had to look for a job if I had to stay here and eat properly. The whole day I was debating whether to find a job or stay locked here. I couldn't let a useless heartbreak break me. I was stringer than this. I had to do the right thing. If not for me but my friends. They wanted me to be happy. In the end, I finally made up my mind.

I woke up early in the morning. I got ready. Dressed up soberly and tied my hair into a bun. After having breakfast I checked myself in the mirror. My face was expressionless and my eyes were red from crying. I wanted to look good for my job and this is the best I could do. I sighed at my reflection before walking out of the door.

I dragged my feet on the road, looking for the restaurant my friends had suggested. On my way, I saw familiar shops. I had missed my neighbourhood. I was never leaving it again. It took me a ten-minute walk from the apartment to the restaurant. I started ta it for a few moments. It had glass walls, revealing everything inside of it. In the front yard, some table and chairs were placed. The yard was beautiful with flowers growing here and there, perfuming the whole area. I inhaled the sweet scent and it calmed me down. I exhaled and walked to the door. With my face down I opened the door and bumped into someone.

I didn't bother to look up. "I'm sorry," I said. As I was about to walk away, the someone pulled me back. When I looked up my breathing stepped. No, no. I didn't want to face him or any of his friends yet. "Hoseok," I whispered, unbelievingly.

We were both sitting at a table near the window, with a hot cup of coffee in our hands. Hoseok was staring at me but I didn't meet his eyes. I was concentrated on rotating my cup. I clutched the cup tightly, taking the haet cause that was the only source of warmth available to me. I sighed and looked up. He was still staring at me. I couldn't read his expression. Was it joy, confusion, or anger? I opened my mouth to something but he cut me.

"I am trying to decide whether you are real or I am dreaming," Hoseok told me as he studied me with his eyes.

"I am real." I looked into his eyes.

Joy crossed his face and I saw him grinning. He tightly hugged me. I hugged him back. I had missed him. I had missed his friendly smile and caring worries. I was instantly filled with the warmth I was missing. I wanted to keep hugging him, never let go. I needed him. After staying in that position for a while we pulled away. Uh-oh, now he was angry. He gripped his cup, trying to control his anger.

"Y/N, why did you leave?" Hoseok demanded. I just stayed silent. "Do you even know how worried we've all been? We have been searching for you like crazy. We weren't able to sleep properly or rest. Yoongi Hyung has been insane. He hasn't eaten for data. He is non-stop looking for you, not even resting to catch his breath. Do you realise how agitated you made us?" When I still didn't answer he continued in an angry tone. "Why did you leave, Y/N? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave Yoongi Hyung? He is broken."

If he was trying to make me feel guilty it was working. I turned my head away from him and his harsh words. Bad memories surrounded me. I tried to fight it but it was of no use. They flashed in my mind like a movie.

Seeing me ignoring him, Hoseok said. "What the hell, Y/N, answer me. Because of you, he is suffering, he is-"

I sharply faced him. I have had enough. It wasn't entirely my fault he was suffering. "Do you really think I would hurt him without any valid reason? Do you really think I would deliberately hurt him? Do you really think that low of me, Hoseok? I left him because-" I cracked up.