First Love

19

"Suga-" I tried to reason with him.

"Y/N." He cut me off. "This is who I am. My true self. You can't change me. I told you I am a monster, a monster who only believed in revenge and nothing else. You can never fall in love with me, you can't even like me. I have no feelings. I play with others' feelings. I am no good for you." He said as if more than telling me he was telling all this to himself.

He was hurt. He was cut so deep that he couldn't see anything else in front of revenge.

I sat closer to him. Cupped his cheek gently and leaned in close to his face. We were staring deeply into each other's eyes.

"You say you don't have feelings, you don't feel anything. Then why did you respond to my kiss? Why did you kiss me back? Why didn't you push me away? Why?" I asked boldly.

Whatever emotions he felt he did not let them reach his face and gave me a blank face. I was waiting for an answer but he did not even utter a word.

"Let me tell you." I continued. "You didn't push me away and kissed me back because.......you have feelings. You have feelings for me. No matter what you say about us being friends, somewhere deep in your heart you also think of us more than just friends. You also desire me and you can't hide your desires, not from me. I can read you like am open book and that is why I can tell you have feelings like any other person. You are no monster. It's just that your desires happen to be different than other people, this does not make you a monster, it makes you unique, which attracts me so bad that I can't stay away from you."

He was regarding my words deeply. After summing up he looked ta me with a painful look. "You are a believer, Y/N. You believe in everything good. You even believe in me. You think there is hope for me, but you are wrong. I am hopeless. I am feelingless." His lips quirked up in a cold smile.

"I can prove it to you. You are like me. You have feelings." I said confidently.

"How-" He was about to say but I cut him off by kissing him.

I was determined to show him that he had feelings. He was so lonely and full of grief. I wanted to help him.

My lips brushed slightly against his. It was just a peck but then it turned into something much more. I embraced his lower lip gently. He reluctantly responded to my kiss. He did kiss me back but it felt like he was holding back. I tightened my grip on his face while his hands surrounded my shoulders. I was so full of him that I couldn't even feel anything except for him and his lips against mine.

He hastily broke the kiss while gasping form just the brush of our lips whereas I was also in a daze.

"What are you trying to do ?!" He angrily snapped.

"I am trying to prove to you that you have feelings," I replied, boldly.

"I don't want you to prove anything to me." He scowled.

"But I am just-" I rudely got cut off.

"Did I ask for your sympathy or pity?" He questioned.

"Do you even know what showing pity or sympathy is like?!" I yelled, now I was angry too.

"Yes, I know exactly." He raised his eyebrows at my sudden anger.

"No. You don't know. How can you name my care for you like a pity. If I would have taken pity on you then I wouldn't be lingering here with you instead of thinking of you once or twice a day while living a happy life on my apartment! How easily you neglect the fact that I like you and care for you." I got up and went to the stairs without a backward glance. "Oh" I faced him. "May you have a feelingless night," I said before walking up and dashed into my room with teary eyes.

Next morning when I woke up I wasn't at all in a good mood. I was grumpy and didn't bother to get up early and wake up Suga. After getting ready I went downstairs.

I saw Suga seated on the couch. He looked at me and offered a slight smile which I bluntly ignored and made my way to the kitchen.

I sat down on the dining table with my cooked breakfast. Seeing me eating he sat beside me, expecting to see his food ready.

"Good morning." He smiled.

I looked ta him, gave him an 'I don't care' expression and returned to my food.

"You still mad at me about our fight?" He asked sheepishly.

I pretended I didn't hear him and kept silently eating my food.

"Where is my breakfast?" I didn't reply. "I'll take that as a yes." He stupidly mumbled.

I drank my water, totally ignoring him. He got up from his seat muttering something about me being unbelievable and went to the kitchen. He returned with a huge plate filled with food and was smiling widely.

I had made breakfast for him. I couldn't just let him starve, even though I was mad at him.

"You're the best." He winked and started eating his food.

After we finished our meal we sat comfortably on the chairs.

"The food was tasty." He complimented.

I didn't even glance at him. I just took out my phone and started surfing the net.

"So you are going to give me the silent treatment." He raised his eyebrows.

"Aw. It is so cute." I said, looking at an adorable labrador puppy on my phone.

"This is going to be so much fun." He rubbed his palms together as an idea came in his mind.

I slightly shook my head at his childish behaviour.

"Y/N!" He yelled, enjoying himself. "Y/N!!" He waved his hand in front of my face trying to grab my attention but I totally neglected his presence. He just smiled smugly before he shook me by my shoulders. "Y/N! Listen to me!" He shook me again, cheerfully.

After he let me go my head hurt slightly but I got back to my phone as if nothing had happened.

He chuckled. Before I could guess what he was about to do he pulled my chair to face him and trapped my one leg between his legs. I gave him a blank expression as he took my phone from my hand and kept it on the table. When he turned back to me he had a smirk on his face and slowly the blank expression vanished from my face. Watching the emotion reach my face his smirk grew bigger while he leaned in towards me. He stopped when his nose was tickling mine.

"You still want to ignore me?" He said smugly.

When I didn't say anything he kissed my cheek softly. An electric current passed through me at the contact. He traced butterfly kisses to my neck. When he was kissing my neck moans tried to escape my mouth but I bit my lower lip, not letting them escape. His lips were so gentle against my skin. I could feel our bodies heating up and warmth radiating from his body. He kept kissing my neck making me dizzy. I wanted to touch him but I was sitting on my hands, I couldn't let them go near him. He had his arms on either side of my chair, restraining me from moving. I wanted to ignore him the whole day but I couldn't just neglect him when he was kissing me like that.

"Suga, stop," I pushed him away.

He pushed his chair away from me and when he faced me he had a big smile on his face. "Did you just stopped ignoring me?" He teased.

"Yeah." I glared at him.

He got up from his chair, did a little victory dance and sat back down. I couldn't just ignore him when he was being so adorable.

"So you give up." He smiled smugly.

"Yeah." I chuckled.

He chuckled with me but then suddenly became serious.

Fighter, I am sorry I update late again. I guess this is now going to be my usual timing for update.
Anyway, how do you all like my story so far?
Please comment and vote.
Love you! 😄