First Love

35

I should have stayed in the apartment my whole life. Cutting myself from all the pain. I would have been fine alone. Even seeing his face reminded me of the pain. How was I going to go out and talk to him? It was a bad idea; coming out of my hideout.

Tears non-stop flowed down my cheek. I was regretting job decision of coming here to work. I was regretting that I had even met him. If I knew that the one I loved would be the one to break me then I never would have loved him. No matter how much I tried, my love for him couldn't turn into hate in just one day. Whatever I felt couldn't be thrown away in just one day.

I couldn't go out there and talk to him like nothing happened. Every glimpse of his face reminded me how much he hurt me. I had to ignore him if I didn't want to be hurt again. I had to ignore him no matter how much I wanted to kiss him or hug him. I had to ignore him for his sake and mine. I wiped my tears before exhaling out my cries. I looked in the mirror and gasped.

He was standing behind me.

I turned around to confirm I wasn't imagining. What was Suga doing here?

His black eyes searching for something in mine. His lips slightly parted. His expression was a mixture of worry and pain. I wanted to run away and hide, just go away from him. Why didn't he leave me alone?

"What are you doing here, Sir?" I asked as I looked away from his face. "This is girl's washroom."

Anger replaced Suga's worry and pain. "I am not Sir." He said through his teeth.

I shook my head and walked past him. "Leave before you get in trouble, Sir."

That triggered his anger and he pushed me against the wall; his body pressed against mine. "I am Yoongi, not Sir." He snapped. I flinched at his rude tone. His expression softened and he stepped back. "What happened, Y/N? Why are you acting like this? Did I do something wrong?" He waited for an answer but I kept quiet. "Did you forget that you loved me?" His voice was full of hope. His eyes were full of expectation.

I hated to break his hope. "I stopped loving you the moment you broke me."

He flinched at my harsh words. I saw his hope shatter in front of my eyes. I didn't want to hurt him but if I trusted him I was afraid he might break me again and I didn't want that. I walked away from him and he did not try to stop me.

Thankfully, my work got over sometimes after. While I was walking home my mind was on my encounter with Suga.

I didn't understand why was my fate playing with me and my wounded heart? First Hoseok and now Suga. Why did my destiny take me in front of me yesterday whenever I tried to move to tomorrow? Why was I still tangled in my past? Was moving on too much to ask for? As these depressing thought filled my head, I got a creepy feeling like I was being watched. I could feel a pair of eyes stuck to me. I turned around but saw no one. Only cars and trees stood behind me, no sign of any human or the mysterious eyes watching me. I shrugged it and went home, thinking I was going crazy.

I had dinner and sat down to watch TV. I was deep in thoughts, ignoring the TV screen. I was thinking that if Suga couldn't find me for the past few days then how did he suddenly find me? As I was reflecting on the matter the reason hit me. Suga would have found me only if someone who knew I was there had told him. I quickly dialled the person's number.

"Hello?" He said on the phone.

"Hoseok," I said in a stern voice.

"Yes, Y/N?" He cheerfully greeted me. "How are you?"

"Not fine." I snapped.

"Why? What happened?" The cheerfulness vanished from his voice.

"Hoseok, I told you not to tell him about me. Why did you tell me?" I asked in a demanding tone.