Wildflower [4]

Because I Care

"Stiles, I'm fine! Stop babying me!" I yelled at my brother, who forced me back into bed after I went into the kitchen to get some water.

"I'm trying to keep you safe. You died, Casey. And then you came back. For other people, they'd stay dead! We're lucky that didn't happen with you." He told me, and I look down at my charm bracelet. "You may think I'm babying you, but it's because I can't lose you. Not again. Now stay in your room."

Ollie hopped up on my bed and sat down with me when Stiles shut the door to my room. I look at Hartley sleeping peacefully in his bed, and I get up, walking over to my vanity. I sit down and look at myself in the mirror.

It's been a few days since what happened, and I'm barely allowed out. Hell, I'm not even allowed to take Hartley on a walk. Stiles and my dad have been super protective these last few days, and I feel cooped up. I hate it. It's like walking on eggshells because they think I'm going to break.

God, I hate this! I hate those stupid dread doctors who caused all of this! I feel like a prisoner in my own home, and I just don't feel right. It makes me wish I didn't come back because all I do is suffer.

I just felt so angry. I felt like screaming until my throat hurt. I wanted to hit something until my hands bled. I'm literally going insane.

I let out a cry of frustration, punching my mirror, and it broke, showing my blood on some of the pieces.

"Casey, what the hell?" I barely even realized that my door opened, and Theo picked me up bridal style, bringing me into my bathroom, and sat me down on the counter.

"Theo, I'm-"

"Don't." He said abruptly, and I was a little shocked since he's never used that kind of tone with me.

Theo grabbed the first aid kit that I kept in my bathroom, taking out some gauze, Neosporin, and a small bottle of antiseptic.

"I can just heal-"

"What part of no using your powers do you not understand?" He asked me, and that's when I knew to shut up. I stayed quiet as I watched Theo pour some antiseptic on a cloth before bringing it up to my bloody knuckles, and I hissed since it stung. He carefully cleaned the cuts on my knuckles, looking at it closely to make sure there is no glass stuck in my hand.

Theo put some Neosporin on my cuts before wrapping my knuckles securely. I wanted to apologize for what I did, but the words just wouldn't come out. I haven't felt right since the dread doctors kidnapped me, and, well, you know.

Without even glancing at him, I hopped off the bathroom counter and went back into my room.

"Are you serious? What the hell was that?" Theo asked, following me, and I sighed.

"I don't know," I said, and if he kept badgering me, I knew I was going to break.

"You don't know? That's not fine, Casey. Do you really expect me not to get mad after you just hurt yourself? That was stupid!" He said to me, and I turn to him.

"Don't you think I know that? What do you want me to say? That I wanted to hurt myself because I can't handle the pain." I said.

"I want you to talk to me." He said.

"Why? Why do you want to help someone as problematic as me?" I asked him.

"Because I care about you!" He yelled. "You may not care about what happens to you, but I do. It kills me to know that you're suffering and you're in pain. And it kills me, even more, to know that you're hurting yourself because you keep everything bottled in, Casey!"

I nodded. "Yeah, I do bottle things in. I do keep quiet about my feelings because I don't know what to feel right now. I died, Theo! I died! But by some miracle, here I am alive and breathing. And yeah, I should be happy about that, but I'm not! I'm a mess. I hate that I couldn't stop them, I hate feeling scared of some psychotic metal doctors who killed me for their own personal gain! And at the time, punching my mirror seemed like a pretty good idea because I hate feeling like this! For once, I feel absolutely helpless!" I shouted at him.

"Casey,"

"No." I cut him off, and I felt tears starting to fall. "No one knows what that's like. My life has been slowly falling apart, and I don't know how much more I can take. I lost so much, and I hurt so much. And the one person I could talk about anything to is gone! Everyone expects me to be the same Casey that they met three years ago, but I can't be that girl anymore. You know what, yeah, maybe I did want to die. Because I can't do this anymore, it always seems to be me who suffers the most, and I just want the pain to stop. I can't do this." I cried, and he came over to me as I fell to my knees and brought me into his arms, letting me cry in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. But you can't keep things to yourself because it hurts everyone around you. It hurts me. You may think you're weak, but I think you're strong because of everything you've been through. Look at me." He said softly, lifting my chin so I could look him in the eyes, and he wipes my tears. "I don't care what you say or what you do, but I am never going to leave you. I promise you. You're not alone, and you don't have to go through this alone. You never had to. You're not broken, Casey. You're just hurt."

Our eyes stayed connected, and I took in everything that he was saying. I could see it in his eyes that he was telling the truth and genuinely cares about me. Somehow I could even feel it. And at that moment, all I wanted was to feel his lips against mine. So that's what I did.

The second our lips connected, I felt electricity shooting throughout my body in pleasurable waves, and I felt him pull me closer after he got over his shock. Our lips molded together perfectly, almost like we were each other's missing piece, and when I'm with him, I feel complete. This is different from what I felt for Isaac or Liam. With him, everything just felt right, and I didn't want to let that go.

We pulled away for air, our foreheads resting on each other's, and I could feel my lips tingling.

"No. You're upset, and you just got out of a relationship with Liam. I won't take advantage of you like that." He refused, pulling back from me and my heart fluttered knowing that he cared about me and didn't want to use me.

"You didn't take advantage of me. I kissed you because I like you, you idiot. Ever since you got here, I kept convincing myself that I loved Liam because I refused to hurt him. But he obviously didn't feel the same way." I said sadly, and I look at him. "You should probably go."

"Do you want me to?" He asked me, and I knew that he knew that I didn't.

"Not really. I don't trust myself not to do something stupid again, and I-I'm sorry. I should've talked to you guys. I just didn't know how." I said to him, and he takes my good hand gently in his.

"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." He said, and I gave him a weak smile, his thumb rubbing my knuckles reassuringly, and it felt perfect.  And I didn't even realize how much I needed him until it was too late.