♡ ᴍᴄʏᴛ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ ♡

Numb (Dream)

Made on: 23rd of April 2021
Published: 23rd of April 2021

Why? Just why when I'm projecting I immediately choose Dream to hurt?
Like what did the green man do to me?

This is more of a vent fic, so it doesn't have any ships in it.
Don't write negative comments about how I'm not writing the correct stuff (Fluff, ships etc.) I'm not going to care.

This is basically a description of what I'm feeling, so that's why it's so bland.

TW: C*tting,

Tears dripped down his cheeks, one by one.

But he couldn't feel them.

He didn't understand why.

He tried to hurt his own feelings, but they didn't happen.

He imagined everyone leaving, he imagined death threats, he imagined falling off a building but it didn't work.

He wanted it to work.

He didn't understand, when he cries it stings it hurts, it's supposed to hurt but it's not.

Did he finally listen to himself?
Did he finally listen to the voices that said that he was too privileged to cry?
Did he finally do it?
Did he finally give up and switch off feelings?
What happened?

He wondered, he knew that he was supposed to be happy.

He was supposed to be living the dream, hell, his literal name was dream!

The illuminated screen of his laptop just reminded him of how useless he was, it showed overdue emails, concerned messages from friends, and hateful comments from 'fans'.

The glassy tears flowed down, now not being able to stop.

He hated how he couldn't feel them, he wanted to feel his eyes sting, his chest spasm to try and breath. Anything.

He pulled at his hair, dug his nails into his thighs, banged his fist into his stomach. He needed something.

He was so goddamn privileged when he could feel himself cry, and he didn't even know it.

'Do it'

The familiar voice crept in, and he froze.

He knew what the voice was referring to, but he was better than this.

He had been clean for two months, he couldn't relapse.

'Do you want to feel something?'

There it was, the voice was playing to his sensitivities.

But he did, he really wanted to relapse, to feel something.

He fell victim to the voice again.

'You can trust me, I'm your friend,'

The voice was his friend, his only friend. Everyone else was fakers.

'Go on, do it'

Dream nodded to himself and walked to his bathroom.

The light blinded him as he looked around for the box of razors.

He needed them, the voice told him that he needed them.

He took out a razor and washed it, he needed to make this perfect.

He raised his sleeve and saw all the scars, some were healed and some were scabbed.

'One'

Dream took the razor and cut.

He felt something!
He actually felt something!

Euphoria filled him as he felt his flesh be cut open, the blood bubbled up and dripped down pathetically onto the floor,

'More'

The voice demanded, and he happily followed.

'Two'
'Three'
'Four'

Beautiful, he looked beautiful with all these scars.

He'll make sure to add more.

Word Count: 740

I feel better now that I've written the chapter, just thought I'll tell you guys.

EXTRA NOTE:

Tomorrow, which is April 24th 

People are trying to make it national r#pe day, 
Where I live, it's not going to happen due to the amount of women's rights here.

But I want you guys to stay safe. Internationally.

Even if it is obviously fake, there are always going to be people who are going to try and attempt. Whether it be a scare or not, hell I know that some clickbait fboys on Youtube are going to try and take advantage of the day.

So if you are going to go outside, please have some sort of weapon with you, or someone you trust or a friend/parent.

Even if you are a boy, there ARE going to be girls or other men who are going to try and get you.

And then use the day as an excuse for their matters, and since you are a boy. People will believe the girl, since 'It's NoT PossIBLE FoR a Boy to GeT R#PeD by a GiRL'

Please be safe

I love all of you way too much for you to risk your safety.

Even if it is your friend/spouse/anyone of value to you who is getting too touchy, tell them to stop. You have equal value in the friendship

And if they don't use your weapon or punch them in their stomach HARD. And get away from them as fast as you can.

❤