Fool Me Once (Book One) - Fred Weasley

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TW. Mentions of addiction and suicide 

Draco and Astoria stayed with us until well after curfew, having to get a note off Poppy so that Umbridge wouldnt stick the two of them in detention. Although Im pretty sure Draco could have gotten them out of it anyway. After all Lucius did make him join the inquisitorial squad. 

After feeding the girls once more, tucking them into their cots and staring at them for over half an hour Fred was still trying to talk me into climbing back into the bed to get some sleep. 

'Freddie, they are just. They are so perfect' I breathed, unable to tear my eyes away from the sleeping girls. 'I know princess' he said as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist peering over my head at the twins. 

There was something about standing like this, wrapped up in Freds arms that just felt safe, it felt familiar. It was soft and warm and smelled like gunpowder and cinamon and cigarette smoke. It smelt like Fred. It smelt like home. I realised that a long time ago. Fred Weasley would always be my home. The one place in this world where I felt completely loved and protected. Where I felt I was valued and needed. 

'But you have to sleep. Please for me. You will be on your own for a week after tomorrow night and I cant have you staring at them the whole time when you should be sleeping.' he said as I looked side ways up at him. 

'Its just Freddie. I cant believe it. They are really here. They are out in the world and they are ours. Forever. And we can hold them and kiss them and keep them as safe as possible. And tuck them in at night and tell them we love them.' I said as a few tears streamed down my face. 'I love them. I love them so much. But Im sad' I said as he turned me around by my hips to look at him. 

'Whats making you sad princess. Tell me. Tell me what it is and I promise you. If I can Ill make it go away. And if I cant, you can be damn sure Ill at least try. For you princess, Ill do anything. Whats making my pretty girl sad?' he said as he rested his hands on my lower back and peered into my eyes. 

'Im sad that we didnt have this last year. We could have had it last year. And Im sad because you should be here. Watching them with me. Loving them and just watching in awe like Ill be doing and you have to go back. And when you finish rehab you have to go back to school. And Im sad because you will miss small little things with the girls and Ill miss you' I told him as a few more tears escaped my eyes that he rubbed away softly with his thumb. 

'Its going to be okay princess. Please dont be sad about rehab. It was you who said I really needed this, Im only doing this to be better for you. And to be better for the girls. I mean it. Im doing my best to be the best because the three of you, thats all you three deserve. You dont deserve a fucked up version of me. You deserve the best and Im going to give you the best princess I promise. I just need them eight days to get there' he said as a tear slipped down his own cheek and he kissed my forhead. 

'And Im not coming back to school' he whispered causing my to tear my eyes away from his chest to look at his. 'You what?' I questioned, not entirely sure if I heard him properly. 

'When I get out. Me and Georgie we have this whole plan. To just leave the school and start the shop. Merlin knows me and you need the money now.' he told me and I started to cry, harder at this point. 'Princess why are you crying? What did I-'

'Did I fuck it up?' I questioned as he backed us up to the bed and pulled me onto his lap. 'Princess, what on earth are you rambing about now?' he asked me and I looked at him. 

'You' I said and he looked at me. 'I turned you into an addict. And dont tell me I didnt because every one says that I do. You said it before, I know it, your mum-'

'Dont. Princess stop. I didnt mean it. I was high and drunk as fuck when I said that. I was high and drunk and I was angry that you wouldnt let me take any thing else. And stop. Please princess stop blaming yourself,  its not your fault at all. Please dont blame yourself. You dont deserve that. And dont mention my mum. I dont even want to think about her. She ruined too much for us already. Please dont let her ruin the day that our babies are born.' he said as he kissed me softly. 

'Freddie' I breathed as he deepened the kiss. 'Not tonight please' I said and he pulled away. 

'You think I wanted to have sex with you just then?' he asked me with mock hurt. 'I just wanted to calm you down my love. I wouldnt do that I promise. I just know that you calm down when I kiss you' he said and I nodded at him, more tears now spilling out of my eyes. 

'Promise me I didnt fuck you up Freddie. Promise me I didnt ruin your life' I cried silently as he held me. 

'Baby' he whispered into my hair as he pulled me impossibly closer to his chest. 'You saved my life princess. If I have to tell you every day until the day I die I will. I. Love. You. So much, too much. I said that hundreds of times. You save me and save me and save me and continue to take me back and love me even when Im broken. You didnt ruin my life princess. I promise you that. The last few years you have made it so much better. And today' he said as he breathed in proudly. 

'Today princess. You created a miricle. You had not one but two babies that will love me. For the fucked and broken man that I am' he said as he placed kisses all over my forhead. 

'Your not broken' I said as my eyes began to close.  'And you saved me too Freddie. I never said that. After everything with my mum. And dad. And Theo. And Angel. I was ready to give up but you gave me purpose' I told him and I felt him shift under me. 

'Princess what. What are you telling me right now?' he questioned as he pulled me off him softly and slowly so he could look in my eyes. 

'I wanted to die Freddie. With my mum, I wanted to join her. With my dad I wanted to get away from him. With Theo I just wanted the pain to stop. And with Angel, I just wanted to see my baby' I told him as he began to cry harder. 

'You never told me' he said as he sniffed. 

'I didnt need to. You loved me through all of it and helped me out of the darkest mental places I have ever been in' I said as I kissed him softly. 

'But I didnt know. How could I not know?' he asked me as I wiped the tears off his face. 'You didnt need to Bear. You were going through your own-'

'But you were too' he cried. 'You were going through shit as well as helping me through all my shit.  And all I was doing was worrying about myself. I even told you I didnt care about you' he stated in shock as he began to ran his hands through his hair in frustration. 

I took both of his hands in mine and held them, away from his hair. 'Bear' I whispered into his lips as I kissed his slowly. 'Its all okay now' I said pulling pack and looking into his eyes. 

'Its all okay my love. Im here. Your here. We are okay. You will get over this stint in rehab and then open the shop with Georgie. And it will all be okay. I promise you baby okay?' I told him a he nodded lightly. 

'Im sorry for not being there' he whispered, it was almost inaudible but I heard it as he burried his head in my neck. 'You were Bear. You were always there for me my love. In more ways than one' I said back now kissing the skin just below his ear. 

'Lets get some sleep okay?' I said as I climbed off his lap gesturing to him to lie down on the bed. 'Sleep when the babies are sleeping isnt it?' I asked and he nodded, pulling me on top of him my head resting on his chest and my legs stradding his hips. He held me as close as possible as he drifted off. 

'I love you princess' he muttered just before he began to snore softly. 

'I love you too Freddie Bear' I told him as I closed my own eyes. Finally falling asleep to the scent and feeling of home for the first time in weeks.