Fool Me Once (Book One) - Fred Weasley

Tears

He looked back at the coke and blew it all off the dresser.

'I wont' he said before going to sit down on the bed. I stepped further into the room and sat on the desk chair that was at the end of his bed. He looked at me on the brink of tears. He looked so sad that all I wanted to do was hold him. But I knew I couldnt. I knew that if I done it now, forgave him so quickly that he would think it was okay. And I cant continue to let this happen. 

'I'm so fucking sorry Aaliyah' and then he started bawling his eyes out. I looked at him not knowing what to say. In all honesty, I wasnt sure if he really was sorry or if he was just drunk. 

 'Can I, can I say something please. I think that if I sober up before I try to tell you. I wont be able to tell you and Godric do I need to tell you.' I nodded and sat back down on the chair, and then gestured for him to continue.

'I'm sorry' he sniffed. 'I'm so fucking sorry. None of that - none of it - its not. Godric why the fuck is this so hard? Aaliyah, I'm so fucking sorry. None of that, what I said down stairs. None of it is true. I love you and I know you love me. I know it Aaliyah and I also know that if I continue to do this. to fuck up, you really will leave me and you really will take the babies away from me' he said and he started to sob harder. I wanted so much to hold him. 

But he needed to say this, and to be honest. I needed to hear it.

'Fre-'

'Please, just let me talk' I nodded. 'You are the best thing thats every happened to me Aaliyah. I fucking love you so much. And I care about you more than I care about myself. I know it isn't your fault. And I'm sorry that I said it was because I know that you blame yourself. But you have to stop that. It's not fair. I blamed you, from the very beginning I blamed you. For everything'

I looked at him in shock. Did he really blame me this whole time.

'I don't anymore though my love. I realised that it was completly my fault, it was my decision. From the cigarettes to the weed, then the alcohol then the pills and then the coke. It was all my fault. It was always my fault. And I'm sorry that I blamed you. I really didnt want to but I couldnt take the responsibility myself. And I think thats why I started again. I cant accept the fact that its me thats hurting myself. I just its too hard.'

I looked at him as he took a shaky breath. 

'The best thing I could think of was to blame you. It wasnt fair, it wasnt right. But its what I done. It was easy you know. You were petrified so I started to smoke. Draco was with you on Valentines so I smoked weed. You picked Draco-'

'I didnt know I had a choice' I told him as a few tears escaped my eyes and he nodded sadly. 

'I know. And I have fucked up to much. Ive fucked up so badly Aaliyah. I cant be a dad Aaliyah. I can't-'

'Freddie, please tell me your not saying what I think your say-'

'Godric no. I'm not leaving you Aaliyah. I was trying to make a point. I cant be a dad when I cant even take responsibility for my own actions. I need to step up so I can be the dad that them two little girls deserve. So I can be the husband that you deserve. So that I can be the brother and son my family deserves. And I am so fucking sorry that it took me this long to realise it Aaliyah. Your not the problem princess, your my fucking salvation.'

I started to cry harder at these words.

'I dont know how it took me so long to realise but you are going to be the one that saves me you are. I know it. You didnt fuck up my life, you didnt make me like this. You saved my life Aaliyah. And you keep saving it. That coke, the one I blew away. Thats the one that landed me in the hospital wing that night. The night you and Georgie found me. Thats the one that nearly killed me and I was going to let it do it again. I was going to gamble my life again, just for the chance to get high'

'Fred' I said as I made my way over to sit on the end of the bed. 'You dont really think I would cheat on you?' I questioned and he shook his head. 

'I dont. I know you wouldnt. And Im so fucking sorry I said that you would have.'

'Freddie these babies, there is no way they are anyone elses. Ive never been with anyone but you' I said and he smiles. 

'I wish I could say the same princess' he told me and my jaw dropped. 'Fred?' I questioned standing up, hoping to Merlin that he didnt cheat on me. 

'Fuck, no not since I was with you. I meant Amelia. I was with her before you. I wish I had waited for you' he said as I sat down. 'I promise, since I was sixteen its just been you baby' he said and I nodded lightly. 'I believe you' I told him and I did. Fred is many things, an alcoholic, a drug addict, but he isnt a liar. He just says mean things to hurt people when hes arguing.

'You know I love you Freddie.' I told him.

'I love you too princess' he said and I looked at him and held up my hand, cutting him off. 'Freddie, my turn please' I told him and he nodded, sinking back towards the headboard. 

'You know I love you so much. And you are the absolute light of my life. Your the reason Im happy to wake up in the morning. And with these babies, I get to carry a piece of you with me everyday. So please, Im begging you. Stop this. The drinking, the smoking, the drugs all of it please. I need you here, your mum, dad, brothers, Ginny. We all need you. And these babies need you Freddie. They need their dad, alive and well. To teach them how to play quiddich, and how to pull pranks, and how to annoy me, because Godric knows that you do it the best.' I said and he let out a small chuckle. 

'Freddie, I cant do this without you. I cant live without you. I cant raise these babies without you. And I would honestly die if you died baby. And Im scared that all it will take would be one more overdose until I have to bury you. And you are too young Freddie. You have too much living left to do. So please. Please. Get help baby. I cant loose you'

'I promise Aaliyah. I promise. I will. Ill throw everything out and Ill go to Professor McGonagall in the morning.'

'Please Freddie. I dont beg baby. But Im begging you right now. I need you. The girls need you. Everyone, George, Lee, Ginny, Merlin Ginny woudnt  be able to ever be happy again.' I said as I began to cry. 

'Princess. Im sorry. Im so sorry that I fucked up this bad. I didnt mean to. Please believe that. If I could go back in time and do it all over again I would. Id change it all. Id fuck. Id change everything. As long as I had you in the end Id change everything princess.' 

I looked up at him and smiled.

'Princess I would fight the devil for you. I would loose it I was fighting for my life. But if I was fighting for yours, or one of the girls. Merlin knows I would find a way to kill the devil. For you baby. And Im probably not making sense right now. But I love you, and I will do better okay? And this time. This time I will stick to it I swear. I dont know how you still love me. You probably dont anymore' with that he hung his head down and I knew he was finished talking. I went over to him and took his head in my hands to make him look up at me.

'That's where your wrong Freddie.' I said. I was bawling at this stage but I knew I had to get this out. 'I will love you for eternity. I know that I will because of all we have and all we could be. But this, I can't keep doing this with you. It hurts me too much to continue to see you like this.'

'I promise, this will never happen again. I swear it to you Aaliyah Weasley. Ill do anything if it means I can keep my three girls.'