Fate's Cruelty

Chapter Sixteen: Dealing With It Together?

Chapter Sixteen: Dealing With It Together?

Ethan’s POV

                I never expected to hear those words coming out of her mouth. Never in a million years did I ever think that there was a possibility that our child was dead. I honestly thought she was going to say that our child was at home with the baby sitter or with her mother. But I never expected for those five words to come out of her mouth.

                ‘Our son died at birth.’

                The child that I had thought about every day of my life since leaving Harlingen and coming to Lubbock was dead.

                My son was dead.

                I had a son.

                My hands dropped from Carmen’s shoulders, the cheers and the ongoing fireworks for the New Year surrounded us but it was as if a thick fog had blocked all the noise out and it was just Carmen and me out on the deck.

                “What?”

                Tears now streamed down her cheeks as she took a step back. Even though the gesture was small and probably meant nothing it still hurt to see her step away from me. She frantically whipped away the tears with the back of her hand and sniffled.

                “I-I’m sorry,” she stuttered. “I-I went into labor a week early and when they tried getting him out but the cord got wrapped around his neck.” She paused and inhaled deeply, another set of tears falling from her eyes. “T-They did everything they could but it was too late.” She sobbed.

                I never knew how empty I could feel until now. The emptiness I had felt without Carmen at my side deepened now that I knew that our son had passed away. He hadn’t lived a day to see the world and that left me a bottomless pit. I felt empty, I felt weak; I felt like a total jackass for leaving her to carry all of that on her shoulders, for leaving her alone.

                Carmen stumbled back until the back of her knees hit the bench and she fell back, sitting on it. Her elbows rested on her knees and her face fell into her hands sobbing. I found myself walking towards her and kneeling down in front of her and taking her into my arms. This was how it was supposed to be, Carmen in my arms and even though the recent news that had my thoughts all jumbled up I felt a little bit better.

                “Shh,” I cooed. “I’m here now, I’m sorry for leaving you alone then but I’m here now and we’re going to get through this together.”

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Carmen’s POV

                Once Ethan pulled me into his arms I suddenly felt a little less empty. The cold that bit at my tear streaked cheeks was replaced with Ethan’s warm body heat as he hugged me, keeping me close to him. “Shh, I’m here now, I’m sorry for leaving you alone then but I’m here now and we’re going to get through this together.” He whispered.

                My grip around his shoulders tightened and I suddenly felt as if his words were true, but in the back of my mind that constant nagging voice kept telling me that if he left me alone once he’d do it again. “Sorry won’t fix anything Ethan,” I whispered into his ear. Feeling strings tug at my heart. “You left me alone once, what makes you think that I believe you won’t do it again?”

                Ethan pulled away but still kept his arms around my waist, “I won’t, I regret leaving you once. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you Carmen! Hell, I compared girls to you whenever I tried moving on. Don’t you get it? I love you, I always have and I always will.”